I celebrated my birthday this past weekend. Good times were had by all. At least that's what the pictures indicate. As I looked through the pictures with my mother(well the ones that were mommy proofed) she kept saying, "what beautiful girls. why are they single again?" I know most of us would react to that question with, "because they want to be", but that's not the case. With the exception of two friends, one who is already in a relationship and another who says she want to focus on her career, my friends want to be in a relationship.
We went to dinner and dancing for my birthday. During the dancing, not one guy expressed an interest in any of the girls, if they did, I didn't see it. Granted, the girls could have gone up to any guy they had an interest in, but let's face it, it's rare for that to happen. So it falls to the guy to make that first move. None did, and my friends are hot. Not she's cute, but she has a great personality. Hot, WITH a great personality. What more could a man ask for, a golden snatch?
I'm reading this book about how men have been devalued and are basically becoming obsolete in society. As women advance, men become stagnate. Sadly, radical feminists(or the misguided feminist) have been so focused on women getting ahead, there wasn't much consideration to who they would relate to when they reached "the promised land." I'm inclined to agree with certain arguments in the book, but when I witness things like last Saturday night, I think, WTF? Unfortunately, we now have guys who say its so hard on them, that they hate rejection and women should shoulder half the responsibility of getting together. So basically women are now supposed to go out bring home the bacon, cook it, birth the babies, take care of them AND see a man, approach him, convince him she's the one for him, THEN take care of his ass too? it's no wonder they are becoming obsolete, they are mitigating their purpose and importance. well, besides the obvious purpose and even then, science is moving so rapidly that we won't need them for that anymore.
This makes me sad. Would I give up the advancement of females just to have more males be men? No. Why should I? How about they man up to the new generation of woman? I mean really.
When to have, 'The TALK'
oh, 'the talk'.you know what i mean, the talk you have with the person you're dating as to what you mean to them. what is your status in their life. girlfriend? boyfriend? booty-call? what?! i don't like it because i'm one of those weird people who actually means what i say. my word is my bond. if i say i'm going to do something, i will bend over backwards trying to do it(actually, it's kinda easy considering i can literally bend over backwards).
so i've been dating the NB for several months now and neither of us have brought our status to one another. i don't feel it's the right time. i don't know what he's thinking, but several of his friends have classified me as his "girl". he doesn't correct them either way and i don't mind. i like this loosely defined period. i feel like i'm sampling the goods without actually making the purchase (i'm pretty sure i want to buy). i know it is all about timing. when the right time comes, it'll come. i usually wait until i feel it. the times i haven't, guys have left because i was taking too long. well, good riddance. but this guy now? i want to keep him around... but as my boyfriend? again, when should you have, 'the talk'?
so i've been dating the NB for several months now and neither of us have brought our status to one another. i don't feel it's the right time. i don't know what he's thinking, but several of his friends have classified me as his "girl". he doesn't correct them either way and i don't mind. i like this loosely defined period. i feel like i'm sampling the goods without actually making the purchase (i'm pretty sure i want to buy). i know it is all about timing. when the right time comes, it'll come. i usually wait until i feel it. the times i haven't, guys have left because i was taking too long. well, good riddance. but this guy now? i want to keep him around... but as my boyfriend? again, when should you have, 'the talk'?
This is what happens when I talk to DJ
It's vulgar, hilarious, and rings true. A little authority works(only in the right setting though).
I Want...
I want (in no particular order)
1. To live on a tropical island
2. Have a million dollars(i'm not greedy) mysteriously deposited into my bank account monthly
3. Do good works. I'm going to need to do something with the 12 million a year.
4. Travel the world - on a private jet. I hate the lines at the airport.
5. Eat, and stay a size 6 forever
6. Have more time to read my favorite blogs, books, magazines
7. Hang out with the NB more. Our schedules are seriously conflicting right now. Can you say, frustrating?
8. Catch up on all the delicious sleep I'm missing out on
9. The perfect Bellini
10. To plan the perfect party for the last year of my 20s
What do you want?
1. To live on a tropical island
2. Have a million dollars(i'm not greedy) mysteriously deposited into my bank account monthly
3. Do good works. I'm going to need to do something with the 12 million a year.
4. Travel the world - on a private jet. I hate the lines at the airport.
5. Eat, and stay a size 6 forever
6. Have more time to read my favorite blogs, books, magazines
7. Hang out with the NB more. Our schedules are seriously conflicting right now. Can you say, frustrating?
8. Catch up on all the delicious sleep I'm missing out on
9. The perfect Bellini
10. To plan the perfect party for the last year of my 20s
What do you want?
Catcalls? I say, nay nay!!
I like to be admired by men just as much as the next girl, but the one of the things that makes me feel like taking a scalding hot shower is catcalls. Male adoration is all well and good, as long as it's done in a way that reduce the woman to a slab of meat and him the ravenous dog ready to gobble it up. Here are some of my most recent catcalls.
1. Last summer I was at Venice Beach with some friends. We were doing the Vendor Crawl, where you look at every vendor's goods and don't buy a damn thing. We approach this one vendor selling paintings of black folks (ala, Good Times), all of a sudden we here this voice shout out, "GOD DAMN!! You are so beautiful!! I know a man who would love to take care of you and treat you like the queen you are!!" I look up and this guy(the artist I guess) was looking at me intently with his hands clasped over his heart. Having an idea who the 'guy' he was talking about is, I ask, "Really, who?" He responds,"Me, girrrlll!" Oh great... Don't get me wrong, the guy wasn't unattractive, just not attractive to me. Especially hollering at me so loud that half of VB can hear you. My friends heckle me. I thank the guy for the compliment and move on.
2. I'm walking from my office building to a restaurant and this man sitting at a bus stop hollers at me from across the street, " Hey Girl, where your man at?!?!" My immediate response was, "At work!" The guy responds, "Well go home and tell him he's a lucky man." Though the holler was a little embarrassing, it was a nice change from the normal catcall.
I'm sure you ladies have experienced some of the same. Share your stories.
1. Last summer I was at Venice Beach with some friends. We were doing the Vendor Crawl, where you look at every vendor's goods and don't buy a damn thing. We approach this one vendor selling paintings of black folks (ala, Good Times), all of a sudden we here this voice shout out, "GOD DAMN!! You are so beautiful!! I know a man who would love to take care of you and treat you like the queen you are!!" I look up and this guy(the artist I guess) was looking at me intently with his hands clasped over his heart. Having an idea who the 'guy' he was talking about is, I ask, "Really, who?" He responds,"Me, girrrlll!" Oh great... Don't get me wrong, the guy wasn't unattractive, just not attractive to me. Especially hollering at me so loud that half of VB can hear you. My friends heckle me. I thank the guy for the compliment and move on.
2. I'm walking from my office building to a restaurant and this man sitting at a bus stop hollers at me from across the street, " Hey Girl, where your man at?!?!" My immediate response was, "At work!" The guy responds, "Well go home and tell him he's a lucky man." Though the holler was a little embarrassing, it was a nice change from the normal catcall.
I'm sure you ladies have experienced some of the same. Share your stories.
Chivalry is soooo dead!!
I'm a strong capable woman. I'm very self sufficient and independent. I can take care of myself in most situations. However, there comes a time when if I'm struggling with something and there is a male around who can lend a helping hand, I expect his help. Is that so much to ask? I mean really.
I was dropping off a car at the rental car place and I had all this shit in my hands, my laptop bag, gym bag and purse. After I finished settling the bill I needed a ride to the dealership to pick up my car. Remember, I'm struggling with my three bags. Does the Rental Car guy open the car door for me so I can put the bags in the back, or maybe pop the trunk? NO! When we get to the dealership, does he offer to help get the bags out the car? NO!! Does he even gesture in any way to help me with my bags? HELL NO!!! I got out of the car and before I could open the back door, he's putting the car in reverse. WTF???!!!!
I know there is women's lib and women have made great strides in social equality, but DAMN!! Sometimes it's not about gender equality, but more about human decency. I would have offered to help him if the roles were reversed.
Regardless, I don't care how much gender equality there is, sometimes a lady should be treated like a lady. Dumb Fucker. ;)
I was dropping off a car at the rental car place and I had all this shit in my hands, my laptop bag, gym bag and purse. After I finished settling the bill I needed a ride to the dealership to pick up my car. Remember, I'm struggling with my three bags. Does the Rental Car guy open the car door for me so I can put the bags in the back, or maybe pop the trunk? NO! When we get to the dealership, does he offer to help get the bags out the car? NO!! Does he even gesture in any way to help me with my bags? HELL NO!!! I got out of the car and before I could open the back door, he's putting the car in reverse. WTF???!!!!
I know there is women's lib and women have made great strides in social equality, but DAMN!! Sometimes it's not about gender equality, but more about human decency. I would have offered to help him if the roles were reversed.
Regardless, I don't care how much gender equality there is, sometimes a lady should be treated like a lady. Dumb Fucker. ;)
I don't wanna be a playa no more...
I went to a party where I was reminded of one of the most awkward situations I had back in college. It was late Friday night after debate practice, an old friend, Jeff, from out of town comes by to see the team and to pick me up for drinks. My new friend, Ben, was there as well. He was also on the team and knew Jeff. Before I go any further, I should tell you that Jeff and I have a bit of an unspoken history. We're cool to this day, but he's like that one guy/girl you can't seem to forget no matter how hard you try.
Ben was one of those guys who I had around to help me forget Jeff. I don't know if he subconsciously knew it, but every time I mentioned Jeff, he bugged out. I got a healthy dose of that drama several months later. Remind me to tell you about the temper tantrum he threw, it was crazy.
We invited Ben to come along to the local restaurant/bar we were going to, but he refused. Jeff and I go to the bar and meet up with some of our mutual friends. Who happens to be there, but another guy I thought would help me get over my infatuation with Jeff. WTF? It was raining men, but not in a good way. And of course Jeff picks up on mood and says, "old boyfriend?" and laughs. Ass. I don't know about you, but I have anxiety of people who have known intimate knowledge of me being in the same room together. I'd rather they didn't have an opportunity to swap stories. I'm just saying.
I was reminded of this episode because of a party I went to several weeks ago. I'm at NB's(the new boy) house party. I happened to arrive early so, no one was really there and I was hanging out with him in his bedroom. After a while, people start coming in the house, so we leave the room. Who is the first person I see as I leave NB's room? None other than NB's neighbor, who I hooked up with 8 months before at another of NB's house parties. Again, awkward. Although I've been over to NB's house several times, I hadn't seen the neighbor since that last party so I kind of put him out of my mind. When he sees me, he says, "I know you!" I was thinking, great, just don't say anything about what happened. Not that I have something to be ashamed of, I'd just rather my business kept private. Plus, I wasn't dating NB when it happened. The neighbor is no longer a neighbor. Really, does NB really need to know?
Ben was one of those guys who I had around to help me forget Jeff. I don't know if he subconsciously knew it, but every time I mentioned Jeff, he bugged out. I got a healthy dose of that drama several months later. Remind me to tell you about the temper tantrum he threw, it was crazy.
We invited Ben to come along to the local restaurant/bar we were going to, but he refused. Jeff and I go to the bar and meet up with some of our mutual friends. Who happens to be there, but another guy I thought would help me get over my infatuation with Jeff. WTF? It was raining men, but not in a good way. And of course Jeff picks up on mood and says, "old boyfriend?" and laughs. Ass. I don't know about you, but I have anxiety of people who have known intimate knowledge of me being in the same room together. I'd rather they didn't have an opportunity to swap stories. I'm just saying.
I was reminded of this episode because of a party I went to several weeks ago. I'm at NB's(the new boy) house party. I happened to arrive early so, no one was really there and I was hanging out with him in his bedroom. After a while, people start coming in the house, so we leave the room. Who is the first person I see as I leave NB's room? None other than NB's neighbor, who I hooked up with 8 months before at another of NB's house parties. Again, awkward. Although I've been over to NB's house several times, I hadn't seen the neighbor since that last party so I kind of put him out of my mind. When he sees me, he says, "I know you!" I was thinking, great, just don't say anything about what happened. Not that I have something to be ashamed of, I'd just rather my business kept private. Plus, I wasn't dating NB when it happened. The neighbor is no longer a neighbor. Really, does NB really need to know?
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