Well howdy strangers! Yes, I know it's been awhile but things have been...chaotic for me. Since I've been stricken with a little insomnia, I thought I'd take a moment to update you on what is sure to be a grand adventure.
I've decided to start going out on more dates, for better or for worse. Since the normal means of meeting people hasn't worked and I'm cheap/poor, I thought I'd give putting a craigslist ad up a go. I mean, it's not like I have to answer anybody - they'd just dismiss me as being a bot if they get the silent treatment.
So I put the ad up about a week after New Year's. There was a nice chunk of responses varying from the sweet and sincere to the entirely too vague to the "ew, no" (those immediately got deleted - I specifically said "no creepy guys"). And only one sent a picture of his junk because he wanted to make sure I'd be willing to look past it and get to know him for him, not use him for what he claims is a sizable unit. 1) If you don't tell me you have a big little friend, I wouldn't know therefore you wouldn't have to worry about that; 2) Seriously? Does that work for you, dude? Is that an effective way to pick up chicks?; 3) Junk portraits get automatic disqualification status.
At any rate, I'm trying to be more open so, to be fair, I decided to go out with some guys even though I don't necessarily feel drawn to them. With that in mind, I've gone out on five dates - nothing big, just coffee because it's a neutral site and no pressure there. Two I didn't really feel anything for at all; one is nice to talk to but I think a little too old and hopefully he won't try to kiss me when we hang out again; one who things seemed to be going well with but then he dropped off the face of the earth; and one who I've gone out with twice now - once for coffee (though neither of us drink it) and once for a walk in the park. I like talking with Park Guy and he's very gentlemanly but I'm not feeling that spark, you know? It could be because I keep thinking how I have to upgrade him - he needs a better hair cut and his clothes don't fit him well enough (though that could be because I keep catching him on his way back from work and he has to move around a lot). Yes, I'm a bit shallow. Who isn't?
I'm trying to set up a couple more coffee get-togethers this week. One guy is a little suspicious in that I can't tell if he's a wigger or just kidding in the picture he sent and I'm afraid to ask. He's special. There's also an Italian guy, a French guy I'm not sure I should respond to (for no reason other than he's not in the country yet), a Scotsman (who cute enough but I'm counting on there being an accent to help up the quotient), a mixed dude, and two others that may be looming in the picture.
Busy busy busy. I'll keep you updated if you're interested...lol
Boys! I'm surrounded by boys!
My sister and I went to each other's Holiday Parties this past weekend. I work for a software company and my sister a law firm. Her party was so much more fun than mine. If it wasn't for my Sales guys, I think I might have fallen asleep in my salad. There are no hip people at my company. None. The venue was beautiful, but the atmosphere was frigid and people were trying to act like it was the best place ever. Next year if I'm there, I'm joining the planning committee, cause no. That can never happen again.
With that said, let's get onto Guy #1: He is one of the guys on my floor. One of those athletic, guy's guy. He doesn't take himself too seriously. He knows how to work hard and play hard. He's just yummy. He's totally not my style. He's good-looking, nice body, but just not my style. However, there is this tension I'm feeling when we're together. I've seen him give me the once over more than once. ;) Two problems though, he's 4 years younger than I and we work together. Two big no-no's. So I just enjoy the what-if of him.
Guy#2: I met him at my sister's Holiday Party. The one that was at a cool lounge in downtown LA, with an open PREMIUM SPIRITS bar. 500 people strolling through the place but it doesn't seem crowded. Great music, great food, great atmosphere. Toward the end of the night I'm sitting by myself waiting for my sister to say goodbye to all 500 of them, that girl is networker to her heart. This guy happens to sit next to me. At first he was talking to some people and I don't pay him any mind. Then the people disappeared and he and I start talking. He seemed cute. There was an easy flow of conversation. He was a little lit though, so maybe he was funny because of the liquor. He has a kind of Kal Penn vibe about him. That was cool, but again, not really my type. However, I did give him my phone number. I know I know. Why? Well, because I usually very picky. Not about looks or what the person does (lawyer who is starting his own practice), but just about the feeling I get when I'm around the person. If the vibe is right, I'll take it a step further and give them my number. Besides, I never think a guy is going to call, so it didn't matter to me. Well, he did call. He was sober so the conversation had some ackward pauses. We left off with trying to figure out a time to meet up. He said he was going to be out of town this week and I'm busy the next week (he didn't like that too much), so we'll see.
I'm done with the madness of the past few months, so I'll be writing more often. Also, I have to catch up with all of your blogs. I try to at least keep up with So@, but that little bugger has been busy!
Happy Holidays!!
P.S. Check out Val's Blog, she's traveling South East Asia.
http://valsgreatadventure.blogspot.com/
With that said, let's get onto Guy #1: He is one of the guys on my floor. One of those athletic, guy's guy. He doesn't take himself too seriously. He knows how to work hard and play hard. He's just yummy. He's totally not my style. He's good-looking, nice body, but just not my style. However, there is this tension I'm feeling when we're together. I've seen him give me the once over more than once. ;) Two problems though, he's 4 years younger than I and we work together. Two big no-no's. So I just enjoy the what-if of him.
Guy#2: I met him at my sister's Holiday Party. The one that was at a cool lounge in downtown LA, with an open PREMIUM SPIRITS bar. 500 people strolling through the place but it doesn't seem crowded. Great music, great food, great atmosphere. Toward the end of the night I'm sitting by myself waiting for my sister to say goodbye to all 500 of them, that girl is networker to her heart. This guy happens to sit next to me. At first he was talking to some people and I don't pay him any mind. Then the people disappeared and he and I start talking. He seemed cute. There was an easy flow of conversation. He was a little lit though, so maybe he was funny because of the liquor. He has a kind of Kal Penn vibe about him. That was cool, but again, not really my type. However, I did give him my phone number. I know I know. Why? Well, because I usually very picky. Not about looks or what the person does (lawyer who is starting his own practice), but just about the feeling I get when I'm around the person. If the vibe is right, I'll take it a step further and give them my number. Besides, I never think a guy is going to call, so it didn't matter to me. Well, he did call. He was sober so the conversation had some ackward pauses. We left off with trying to figure out a time to meet up. He said he was going to be out of town this week and I'm busy the next week (he didn't like that too much), so we'll see.
I'm done with the madness of the past few months, so I'll be writing more often. Also, I have to catch up with all of your blogs. I try to at least keep up with So@, but that little bugger has been busy!
Happy Holidays!!
P.S. Check out Val's Blog, she's traveling South East Asia.
http://valsgreatadventure.
Not Dead, Just So Damn Busy
Hi All - I know its been a while, but it seems that all us SGCs are stupid, crazy busy. I've been dealing with some things, which I'll write about later. I just need to get through it and I'll be able to write about it. No, its not the boy. Although we aren't seeing each other any more. That's another story I'll tell. It was his idea and the reason why makes me more irritated at males than angry. It defies logic. All I have to say is, never give a guy what he wants, apparently it isn't what he wants. I'll let that marinate for a while.
Nik
Nik
Dating FAQs
People at my job speak in acronyms. Its like a foreign language to me. I know its to speed up conversations, save room on documents, but can't a girl get a little depth? (i just had the dirtiest thought, hee hee) Although I can live without TLAs (three letter acronyms) FAQ(frequently asked questions) is one I rather like. So it got me to thinking about FAQs in the dating world.
If there were FAQs people wouldn't have to spend time drinking and commiserating(one must drink when commiserating) with their friends about what it meant when he said they were seeing each other as opposed to dating. Or what does it mean to take things to another level. I know what you all are thinking, what happened to The Guy? Nothing happened. I just thought FAQs in the dating world would be a fun blog post.
I realize I'm not like most girls. I don't think any of us are like the average girl, especially the ladies who read SGC. However, I do think we are lumped along with the fictional average girl. And I think it's time to separate ourselves from the pack, so to speak, and draw a line between the average and the exceptional. What would your FAQ say? Here is mine:
Nik
If there were FAQs people wouldn't have to spend time drinking and commiserating(one must drink when commiserating) with their friends about what it meant when he said they were seeing each other as opposed to dating. Or what does it mean to take things to another level. I know what you all are thinking, what happened to The Guy? Nothing happened. I just thought FAQs in the dating world would be a fun blog post.
I realize I'm not like most girls. I don't think any of us are like the average girl, especially the ladies who read SGC. However, I do think we are lumped along with the fictional average girl. And I think it's time to separate ourselves from the pack, so to speak, and draw a line between the average and the exceptional. What would your FAQ say? Here is mine:
- Can we just hang out? Hmm, I'm going to take that as you're just into sport fucking (got the term from this chick at work. I like it better than FWB). Alright, I can hang with that, but know it will be on my terms and my terms only. Also, I won't be sport fucking you for long, 'cuz I am a lady.
- Are you in love with me? If you have to ask, then sadly I am not.
- Would you have a problem with me getting married, but still having sex with you on the side? Oh, that's a good one. Let me think about that for a minute...still thinking. Really, I can't even think of a better answer to your question than...NO!!!!
- Since you don't want a commitment, why don't we sport fuck for the rest of our lives together? Wait, if I agree to that, wouldn't that be sort of like a commitment? There's your sign!
- I've never been with a black girl before, would you be my first? Sure, because I have nothing better to do than fulfill someones fantasies. Asshole.
- So when you say you really like me, you really mean it? Um, yes. Especially if I let you put my legs over my head. Holla!!!
- Did you fake it? Darlin' what's the point of faking it? I'm with you because I've already figured out I wouldn't have to fake it with you.
- Would you let me...? I'm up for just about anything if you ask nicely, but I get veto power.
Nik
The 'Girl' Thing
Lately, I've been dressing up for work. By dress up, I mean just that, wearing skirts and dresses. I find when I wear skirts and dresses I'm more feminine and more accepting of help from men. Things like holding the door for me when I don't ask, carrying something semi-heavy, driving. It's like something in my mind clicks on and I'm totally accepting of the fact that I'm a woman,gentle and feminine, and I should be treated as such. That's not to say that I don't feel that way when i wear slacks or jeans, but I do notice a difference with guys. If I'm wearing a cute top, heels and a pair of jeans, I've got to carry my own damn box. But the skirts and dresses seem to bring out the man in the opposite sex. I also notice that it doesn't bother me as much when a guy does something for me that I can do myself. My excuse is that I'm wearing a skirt, I'm not walking that far, lifting that heavy thing, or sitting on the floor. I don't feel like voicing my concern about it diminishes my capabilities in any way. Just a thought I had when I was wearing my cute skirt and cute heels, while I had guy after guy opening doors for me today. ;)
The Talk That Never Was
I didn't have the "Talk" with the NB (I'm going to have to call him something else as he's not all that new or a boy). I realized I'm not ready for it. Also, I let myself (for a brief second) become like other girls. Asking questions like, where is this going? What do we mean to each other? This is not me, but for a second, it seemed awkward that I didn't over-analyze my relationship with this guy. Luckily before I talked to him, I had a little talk with myself. Something I usually do, but decided to go against nature this time.
Men I take on a case by case basis. I do not lump them all together and classify them as all the same. It's so easy to do. Oh so easy. However, most guys I will give the benefit of the doubt. There are no doubts about the NB, its the benefit of having known him for several months before we started seeing each other. So when I sat down and asked myself where I wanted our relationship to go, I realized I didn't know. I wasn't sure. What I was sure of was that I liked spending time with him. I liked getting to know him. Other than that...I didn't know. I didn't know because of where we are in our lives. I don't know where I want to be next year. Also, I have some serious family issues I'm dealing with that requires me to be more cautious when fully letting someone into my life. Some of my friends think I use it as a cop-out, but I say, "unless you've walked a mile in my shoes...". And that's not to say he couldn't handle it, but why ask him to when I'm unsure?
End result is that I'm going to let it be. I won't force it and enjoy our relationship for what it is right now. I'll let things happen organically. I'm not in a rush and something tells me neither is he.
Men I take on a case by case basis. I do not lump them all together and classify them as all the same. It's so easy to do. Oh so easy. However, most guys I will give the benefit of the doubt. There are no doubts about the NB, its the benefit of having known him for several months before we started seeing each other. So when I sat down and asked myself where I wanted our relationship to go, I realized I didn't know. I wasn't sure. What I was sure of was that I liked spending time with him. I liked getting to know him. Other than that...I didn't know. I didn't know because of where we are in our lives. I don't know where I want to be next year. Also, I have some serious family issues I'm dealing with that requires me to be more cautious when fully letting someone into my life. Some of my friends think I use it as a cop-out, but I say, "unless you've walked a mile in my shoes...". And that's not to say he couldn't handle it, but why ask him to when I'm unsure?
End result is that I'm going to let it be. I won't force it and enjoy our relationship for what it is right now. I'll let things happen organically. I'm not in a rush and something tells me neither is he.
The other man(men) in my life
I've talked too much about the Guy. Now it's time to talk about the other men in my life, the guys I work with. After the debacle at my previous job, my current job is like a breath of fresh air. Instead of there being a bunch of women, now I'm around a bunch of dudes. In college all of my friends were guys, with the exception of my three girls, but they didn't go to my college so it doesn't count. Then the guys in my life scattered to all corners of the earth, literally, and then came the herd of heifers (i say this lovingly). There is something to be said about being in a guy concentrated environment.
The thing about hanging out with guys that I like is that I get to be a loose. Looser than I usually am. ;) With guys there is no pretense. Women have a tendency to sugar coat and present issues with ulterior motives. Guys just tell it like it is. I also respect the lack of endless analyzing that us women are prone to do. I usually go to my guy friends when I want to hear the brutal truth and to my girl friends when I want to hear the truth, but sugar coated.
The Dept scheduled a fishing trip, most of the guys are pretty active and like to do the typical guy stuff. Now for all who know me, fishing is NOT a thing Nik does. However, I'm usually game for documenting shenanigans and trying (almost) anything once. So I got up at 4 am to drive down to the beach so we can set sail by 6. Well, we had to wait for most of our group to get there and didn't set sail until about 6:30am. And they say women are always late. The guys start drinking immediately. I'm thinking, not a good thing to do on a rocky boat, but oh the pictures I will take! There is a galley on the boat and we all start ordering food, and sit down by the cook (it was a small galley) to play poker. After awhile, I started getting sick. The galley didn't have any ventilation, so it got stuffy quick, plus the smell of frying meat. Not a good feeling. I go out on deck and half of the guys are draped over the side of the boat throwing up. Let me tell you that for weeks before the trip, the guys were teasing me about being such a girlie girl and I wouldn't catch any fish and I'd get sick. Yeah, well I was the only one who didn't throw up. After about 4 hours one guys was so bad we needed to turn around and go back to shore. When we got to shore, 8 other guys decided they'd had enough and needed to go home to bed. The rest of us went back out for several more hours and I had a great time. I caught about 4 fish, but could only keep two. The other guys didn't catch a thing. HA HA HA!!! Silly boys.
One of the best things about hanging out with guys is beating them at their own game. I teased them for a solid week after that. Never under estimate the power of a woman! HOLLA!
Nik
The thing about hanging out with guys that I like is that I get to be a loose. Looser than I usually am. ;) With guys there is no pretense. Women have a tendency to sugar coat and present issues with ulterior motives. Guys just tell it like it is. I also respect the lack of endless analyzing that us women are prone to do. I usually go to my guy friends when I want to hear the brutal truth and to my girl friends when I want to hear the truth, but sugar coated.
The Dept scheduled a fishing trip, most of the guys are pretty active and like to do the typical guy stuff. Now for all who know me, fishing is NOT a thing Nik does. However, I'm usually game for documenting shenanigans and trying (almost) anything once. So I got up at 4 am to drive down to the beach so we can set sail by 6. Well, we had to wait for most of our group to get there and didn't set sail until about 6:30am. And they say women are always late. The guys start drinking immediately. I'm thinking, not a good thing to do on a rocky boat, but oh the pictures I will take! There is a galley on the boat and we all start ordering food, and sit down by the cook (it was a small galley) to play poker. After awhile, I started getting sick. The galley didn't have any ventilation, so it got stuffy quick, plus the smell of frying meat. Not a good feeling. I go out on deck and half of the guys are draped over the side of the boat throwing up. Let me tell you that for weeks before the trip, the guys were teasing me about being such a girlie girl and I wouldn't catch any fish and I'd get sick. Yeah, well I was the only one who didn't throw up. After about 4 hours one guys was so bad we needed to turn around and go back to shore. When we got to shore, 8 other guys decided they'd had enough and needed to go home to bed. The rest of us went back out for several more hours and I had a great time. I caught about 4 fish, but could only keep two. The other guys didn't catch a thing. HA HA HA!!! Silly boys.
One of the best things about hanging out with guys is beating them at their own game. I teased them for a solid week after that. Never under estimate the power of a woman! HOLLA!
Nik
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