If there were FAQs people wouldn't have to spend time drinking and commiserating(one must drink when commiserating) with their friends about what it meant when he said they were seeing each other as opposed to dating. Or what does it mean to take things to another level. I know what you all are thinking, what happened to The Guy? Nothing happened. I just thought FAQs in the dating world would be a fun blog post.
I realize I'm not like most girls. I don't think any of us are like the average girl, especially the ladies who read SGC. However, I do think we are lumped along with the fictional average girl. And I think it's time to separate ourselves from the pack, so to speak, and draw a line between the average and the exceptional. What would your FAQ say? Here is mine:
- Can we just hang out? Hmm, I'm going to take that as you're just into sport fucking (got the term from this chick at work. I like it better than FWB). Alright, I can hang with that, but know it will be on my terms and my terms only. Also, I won't be sport fucking you for long, 'cuz I am a lady.
- Are you in love with me? If you have to ask, then sadly I am not.
- Would you have a problem with me getting married, but still having sex with you on the side? Oh, that's a good one. Let me think about that for a minute...still thinking. Really, I can't even think of a better answer to your question than...NO!!!!
- Since you don't want a commitment, why don't we sport fuck for the rest of our lives together? Wait, if I agree to that, wouldn't that be sort of like a commitment? There's your sign!
- I've never been with a black girl before, would you be my first? Sure, because I have nothing better to do than fulfill someones fantasies. Asshole.
- So when you say you really like me, you really mean it? Um, yes. Especially if I let you put my legs over my head. Holla!!!
- Did you fake it? Darlin' what's the point of faking it? I'm with you because I've already figured out I wouldn't have to fake it with you.
- Would you let me...? I'm up for just about anything if you ask nicely, but I get veto power.
Nik
4 comments:
9. You're a great person but...Don't even bother saying this, just reject me outright and tell me to fuck off. Don't waste your breath.
10. Did you come? Be More Observant, you dumb fuck!
11. Do you think your friend would be into me? No, since she doesn't go for guys that hook up with and drop her friends.
12. Do you even know how beautiful you are right now? Yes.
12a. You got dressed up for me tonight, didn't you? No.
13. You're on the Pill, right? You're wrapping it up, regardless.
14. Do you date white men? aka, will you reject me on race alone? Naw, I'm sure I'll probably find another reason.
15. Why aren't you married? You want me to tell you what's wrong with me, right? I didn't know I was required to be married....
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