Catcalls? I say, nay nay!!

I like to be admired by men just as much as the next girl, but the one of the things that makes me feel like taking a scalding hot shower is catcalls. Male adoration is all well and good, as long as it's done in a way that reduce the woman to a slab of meat and him the ravenous dog ready to gobble it up. Here are some of my most recent catcalls.

1. Last summer I was at Venice Beach with some friends. We were doing the Vendor Crawl, where you look at every vendor's goods and don't buy a damn thing. We approach this one vendor selling paintings of black folks (ala, Good Times), all of a sudden we here this voice shout out, "GOD DAMN!! You are so beautiful!! I know a man who would love to take care of you and treat you like the queen you are!!" I look up and this guy(the artist I guess) was looking at me intently with his hands clasped over his heart. Having an idea who the 'guy' he was talking about is, I ask, "Really, who?" He responds,"Me, girrrlll!" Oh great... Don't get me wrong, the guy wasn't unattractive, just not attractive to me. Especially hollering at me so loud that half of VB can hear you. My friends heckle me. I thank the guy for the compliment and move on.

2. I'm walking from my office building to a restaurant and this man sitting at a bus stop hollers at me from across the street, " Hey Girl, where your man at?!?!" My immediate response was, "At work!" The guy responds, "Well go home and tell him he's a lucky man." Though the holler was a little embarrassing, it was a nice change from the normal catcall.

I'm sure you ladies have experienced some of the same. Share your stories.

Chivalry is soooo dead!!

I'm a strong capable woman. I'm very self sufficient and independent. I can take care of myself in most situations. However, there comes a time when if I'm struggling with something and there is a male around who can lend a helping hand, I expect his help. Is that so much to ask? I mean really.

I was dropping off a car at the rental car place and I had all this shit in my hands, my laptop bag, gym bag and purse. After I finished settling the bill I needed a ride to the dealership to pick up my car. Remember, I'm struggling with my three bags. Does the Rental Car guy open the car door for me so I can put the bags in the back, or maybe pop the trunk? NO! When we get to the dealership, does he offer to help get the bags out the car? NO!! Does he even gesture in any way to help me with my bags? HELL NO!!! I got out of the car and before I could open the back door, he's putting the car in reverse. WTF???!!!!

I know there is women's lib and women have made great strides in social equality, but DAMN!! Sometimes it's not about gender equality, but more about human decency. I would have offered to help him if the roles were reversed.

Regardless, I don't care how much gender equality there is, sometimes a lady should be treated like a lady. Dumb Fucker. ;)

No Touchy!

Yes, I've been absent from the blog for a looooooong time but I've been stupid busy (more on that later). But I really have the need to vent right now.

So my and my sister go out tonight and make two stops - #1: The show for a band a friend plays in (not Seb, another guy) for his birthday; #2: A bar near my house that we adore where there is dancing on the weekends.

The second stop wasn't planned but it's so close to home, we thought we'd roll by and check it out. Walking up the block to get to the bar, this drunk dude told us that he loved us and thought we were pretty in Spanish while rolling a handmade cigarette. Which would've been sort of charming had it not been for the whole rolling action.

Then, on the way in, this short, rotund dude I'd never, ever date decided it was a good idea to grab my arm and say, "You would get here just as I was leaving."

My response? Pulling my arm away and giving him a look that most likely said, "Bitch please."

We only stayed for about 10 minutes and decided we were much too tired to stick around and, on the way out, Dude I'd Never Date #2 decided it was a good idea to grab my elbow to get my attention. I glanced at him and pulled my arm away and guess what? He just grabbed at my elbow some more. I think he might've been saying something but I honestly can't recall. I yanked my arm away (which now felt dirty), looked at him like he was crazy and kept walking.

I. Fucking. Hate. That.

I'm still kind of pissed off about it, actually. I've talked about The Grabber before. I've never been a fan but it hasn't happen in so long that I forgot just how much I hate it. And sweet buttery Christmas, it happened TWICE in a 10 minutes span!

Look, if I'm leaving or you're leaving, whatever the fuck, don't grab me. I don't know about you but I've been trained to instantly be prepared to defend myself if a stranger grabs me from out of nowhere. Unless I turn around and it's The Rock or Jensen Ackles, all you're doing is setting yourself up for a dirty look at best, physical assault at worst. And I don't know a single woman that particular move works on, do you?

So, my bit of advice in the wee hours of this Saturday morning is, if you're really interested in talking to a girl, take the time to tap her on the shoulder or say excuse me or say excuse me while gently taking her hand or square dance in front of her or almost anything other than laying your paws on her. Because immediate disqualification. Or immediate knee to the groin.

That Girl

We’ve all seen her. That girl in the club/bar/grocery store/wherever walking around with her ass cheeks hanging out of what I’m guessing is supposed to be a skirt. She’s the girl who I can't help being totally annoyed by...but even still I hate hating this chick because no matter what logical reason I have for thinking she’s absolutely ridiculous, if I make any sort of comment about the lack of clothes and exposed body parts, I’m immediately lumped into the category of being a “hater” or “jealous" - which of course, is entirely not the case. It's not a case of being a hater at all, but hating what she's portraying and what message she's putting out there for all to see.

While I’m definitely pro-fashion-choices and people being who they are without apology, I really get irked by women who choose to dress like total hoochies. I personally feel there is a fine line between being ultra-sexy and just plain tacky. When I think of sexy women I think Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba – do these women let it all hang out in a pair of spandex leopard print pants and cleavage up to their necks? Definitely not.

I think women who dress like superskanks make it harder on the rest of us. These women are so obviously serving themselves up on this “please, objectify me” platter that leaves Dickhead Joe Schmo thinking we’re all like that and that we actually welcome (or enjoy?!) being attacked in a driveby ass grab or “accidental” boob graze. It’s happened to the best of us and it’s really just plain nasty.

What also bothers me is that guys actually pay attention to these girls. While I admit that I can’t help but look (often in horror), I’m guessing my male friends aren’t looking in disgust, but probably more in LUST. So my question for the boys is – what is the intrigue? I mean, I know (most) of you would never actually consider taking a girl like this home to mom (I’m being real glass-half-full here), but what makes you go ga-ga over these skank-a-nators? It leaves the nice - and often more fully dressed girls - ignored and wondering what the fuck is going on.

So shed some light!

Old-Fashioned Values vs Modern Progression

I was driving to work the other day listening to the latest Jill Scott album. I don't know why, but I started thinking about a conversation dj and I had about pick-up lines women could give men. Though we were talking about cheesy, silly lines, I started thinking of how women nowadays let a man know she's interested, yet still not fall completely into the antiquated role of women waiting around for a guy to get up the nerve to approach her or not fully embrace the role of , "I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar!" and club him over the head and drag him back to her lair. As always, I've bitten off more than I can chew....


Though I consider myself a modern woman, I appreciate some of the old-fashioned rules that come with male-female relations. Walk on the curb side of the sidewalk, open doors for me, and the best one, ask me out first. There is something I find attractive about a guy who knows what he wants and goes after it. I'm not talking stalker, but a guy with a goal (me) is hot. A guy friend of mine says it's because I like the chase. Maybe. I doubt it. However, if I were to take that position, what is wrong with that? I'll drop you the appropriate hints, but you have to seal the deal. I'm not into the game of making a guy jump through ridiculous hoops in order to get me to go out with them, but I like to know that he's willing to put in the effort for me. Does that make sense?

Then there are the women who are aggressive go getters. When it comes to approaching men, I'm not her. Also, I've heard from a lot of guys they don't consider her girlfriend material. Booty calls, are a different story. My guy friend says that he would like a girl to ask him out every once in awhile. Something about taking the pressure off him in having to be the one to make an effort. I say WTF? There are more women than there are men in this country. The pressure is on the woman. Therefore, he should make more of an effort. Even if girls drop hints to guys, they don't get it. I know, no one likes to be rejected, yet the chips seem to be stacked against the girls.

After all that, I'm confused and frustrated. Now what?