The Tall & Short Of It: "Tall's" Response to the Trials of the Short Man

Greetings! It's taken me a little while, but I'm finally here to address our first question.

Mo's already answered (and what a lovely job she did - P.S. I call you all "short-ass heifers" with love and affection), but just to remind you all, "so@24" asks, "Why is it that short guys are automatically dismissed (at first glance) and have to work twice as hard to complete the the average/tall fuckers?"

Being a nearly 6'0 tall amazon, admittedly the height thing is a pretty big deal for me. It's totally not for a lot of women out there and it's become less of a hang up on my end, but it's still gives me pause. Why? The reasons a shorter guy has problems dating are pretty much the same reasons a tall girl has problems - it all boils down to how the other person makes you feel.

In general, women like to feel protected and men like to feel...well, manly. It's a whole biological/evolution thing. But what people don't seem to understand is that, while appearance plays a part in that, it's mostly about what a person is projecting. For men that translates into confidence. Confidence, confidence, confidence. For example, there was a guy that I met not too long ago who was 5'6 and admitted it freely. He owned it. And that's what changed the thought in my head from, "He's cute, too bad he's so short" to "He's cute, I might consider it." Confidence, acceptance and happiness about who and what you are is the sexiest thing in the world and the surest way to up your "game".

Part of the automatic dq for shorter guys is that many tend to have a Napoleonic complex and women can tell, and we're not into it. These guys wear their overcompensation and insecurity like 7 too many splashes of strong, cheap, gross cologne. Sure, everyone has something that they feel self-conscious about, things they want to change, but the secret is not to let it get the best of you. Shed yourself of the negative baggage and you'll see an immediate change in the way women react to you - if you telegraph your issues, girls will pick up on it and you'll already be behind in the count.

I'll say it again: Confidence, confidence, confidence.

Now, am I going to date a guy who's under 5'9? Probably not, but that's because of my hang ups and is no way meant to offend. Like Mo said, it's just how I roll. I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before, but I like feeling shorter because it happens so rarely. Guys who are "much" shorter than me generally aren't interested anyhow (except for guys who have special...preferences, but that's a whole other issue). And that's okay. I know that it's just a matter of taste.

So, to sum up, my advice to all you guys out there who don't feel like you have a shot, cut it out. Seriously. All that negativity isn't helping. If you're a good guy and a catch, it's going to happen for you. Have faith in yourself and relax. I know this sounds really simple and all self-helpy, but really, it'll work. Instead of walking up to a girl and thinking you have something to prove, just walk up with the intention of getting to know her better. Stop it with all the pressure and assumptions and other bullshittery. Just be who you are and you'll find the right girl or she'll find you.

The Tall & Short Of It: The "Short's" Response About Short Men's Woes

It's been a long time since I've posted something on The Single Girl's Club and let me just say that it's good to be back at the keyboard and it NOT be work related!

For those of you relatively new to the SGC and do not know me, I am the lone attached girl on this blog and have been attached for the past 2 1/2 years. Therefore, you can call me the "honorary" single girl, a title that I hold with a bit of pride. I'm also the oldest poster on this site at 31 (for now.) So let's just say I have quite a bit of -ahem- experience with the opposite sex (in all sorts of "situations": dating, friendships, "friendships" and otherwise - my longest relationship was 7 1/2 years.)

I received our first question posted to T's welcome to our column from a lovely lad who calls himself "so@24". Here's his question:

"why is it that short guys are automatically dismissed (at first glance) and have to work twice as hard to complete the the average/tall fuckers?"


Ok, first of all, let me tell you that I feel a little hypocritical when I first started answering this question. At 5'2", the shortest guy I've dated was 5'9" and the tallest was 6'4". I know. And yes, I HAVE been heard saying that I find it difficult to date a guy who is under 5'8". Here's my PERSONAL reason why: It's just a preference. When I first started dating in junior high, most of the guys I was attracted to were tall. That ended up not changing. But removed from my personal experience, here's my attempt at an explanation:

Society, unfortunately, seems to view tall men as having more power, more intelligence, being better providers, etc. etc. etc. I can go back historically and anthropologically about why this is so and go into great detail about size equaling strength, health, better hunting prowess and therefore "providing" prowess, yadda yadda yadda, and therefore it's social and biological manifestations in modern day times. I can also talk at a bit of length about some short men and their "Napoleon complexes" and how I feel some short men tend to "overcompensate" to their detriment. But then I could write a whole thesis about this topic, so I'll stop there.

Do I believe in all this, yes and no. Yes, I can sort of understand where the "mystique" of tall men comes from through attempts to explain it both historically and scientifically. But NO, I do not succumb to it. I mean, for one thing, we've gone way beyond our cavemen ancestors and many "biological" things about us are now a moot point. And sociological explanations? PAH! Educated opinions, but opinions nonetheless.

I know, I know, but I date tall men. It has nothing to do with discrimination and everything to do with preference. I mean, do people give beef to others who prefer redheads, or bald heads or people with a sixth toe? Not really (Ok, the sixth toe one's a bit of stretch.)

So here's the thing: Beyond all the explanations, you've got to take what you've got and sell it. I'm not saying become a napoleon - by all means, please don't. Try not to be one of those guys and just try to a nice guy. Don't overcompensate, don't try to work "harder" and think of it this way: All those girls who dismiss you right off the bat because of your height... most of them will probably not change their minds about you no matter HOW much they get to know you. It's like a brunette trying to get a guy who's solidly into blondes and only blondes to change his mind. It's more trouble than it's worth.

Instead, be a good guy. Be a good person. Be humble. Be considerate and a bit charming. And focus on the girls out there who DO like men under 5'6". Trust me, there many out there. (Including a lot of tall girls!) In fact, I know a few girls out there who like short guys (ummm... maybe if you're good I'll give you their numbers. LOL.) And you never know... maybe... just maybe... you're turning your attentions to the wrong girls and missing that cute one in the corner who's trying to avoid your gaze? ;)

Anyway, as a short Filipino girl, I get a bit of discrimination too - yes, yes, I can hear you saying that short asian girls get it "easier" - but trust me, I've gotten ignored by my fair share of guys who like 'em tall and like 'em white. LOL

At the very least, let me direct you to a few recent MSN and Slate articles which discuss this very issue, and interestingly too. If you can't take my word for it, maybe other opinions will help?
Tall Men and Money
Dating Tall Women
Dating When You're A Short Guy

Good luck and my blessings. The right one's out there.

I now pass the floor to T - I'm sure she has some astute things to say about the matter, AND she probably has similar issues due to the fact that she's a "tall girl amongst short-ass heifers." (her words, not mine.)

The Tall & Short Of It: New Recurring Column

I'm tall, Mo is short and together we're going to be given specialized advice and opinions. Since so many of you out there seem to be full of questions (or bitterness...whichever), I thought it would be nice to open the floor and see if any of you have any specific questions or topics you'd like us to cover - not that we don't have ideas ourselves, I just want to get a gage on what's troubling you poor folks out there.

So please, leave a question or topic in the comments and we'll do what we can.

Good times.