Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra...YES.

Fact #1: There are over 31 million people in the U.S. who are of Irish descent. This is almost 8 times more Irish than in Ireland itself (with a population of 4 million.)

Fact #2: Irish-American boys are enjoyable.

Fact #3: IRISH boys (from Ireland proper) are MORE enjoyable. Is it the concentration of genes? The whole european boy mystique? WHO CARES! It's an across the board consensus with us gals (particularly...ahem... T and Linds) that Irish boys are delectable.

So now it's only fair that since I covered the glorious glories of Scottish lads two months or so back, that I should pay equal homage to our Irish boys and their lucky charms. Below, I've listed 15 lovely laddies for your viewing pleasure.

Let us wander these fields aplenty, shall we?

#15: Damien Duff (born in Ballyboden, County Dublin)

Ok. Why in God's green earth do we find redheads enjoyable? Because we do. Because. We. Do. Behold Irish footballer Damien Duff, who is so adorable and yet so sexy that I don't know if I should ruffle his hair or pull it.

#14: Robbie Keane (born in Tallaght, County Dublin)
>

Another famous Irish footballer (and you better know I mean SOCCER football!)

Um. Hi. Hi there. ... Hi.

#13: Robert O'Connor (born in Dublin, County Dublin)

He's a singer. He's a songwriter. He's a model. He's so scruffy and boyishly adorable that I want to mess with his hair, pinch his cheeks, then run away. But I think I'll leave that to Lindsay.

#12: Cillian Murphy (born in Douglas, County Cork)

Sexy in that mesmerizing but "don't be alone with him he might do something to you" sort of way. Oy Vey. Ahem...

Ok...

MOVING ON!

#11: Gabriel Byrne (born in Dublin)

Can I just say "MECHA-GLORIOUS"? I know that's not really a word, but can I? Because YEAH. Because TALENTED. And because SEXY in that rumpled, world-weary, worn around the edges, older-man-that-I'm-sure-can-possibly-teach-you-things sort of way.

#10: Shane Lynch (born in Dublin)

Ex-Boyzone band member, sometimes motorsports racer and sometimes actor (and reality TV star.) I kind of feel guilty for enjoying him, but not too guilty. Behold the tats.

#9: Pierce Brosnan (born in Drogheda, County Louth)

Number One Bond will ALWAYS be Mr. Connery. But Number Two Bond will ALWAYS be Mr. Brosnan, hands down. No exceptions. (Sorry Valerie!)

#8: Stuart Townsend (born in Howth, County Dublin)

Let's forget his roles in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Queen of the Damned shall we? I know that most of you gals can look past this and into his eyes and forgive. So a moment of silence while we appreciate....

Ok, thank you.

#7: Ronan Keating (born in Bayside, County Dublin)

Another ex-Boyzone member - the lead singer this time. I know you're all mesmerized by The Pretty. But break away for a moment, if you can, because it gets worse.

#6: Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (born in Dublin)

I told you it got worse. The ultimate pretty of The Pretties based on our informal girlfriends' poll. Nikkia has much to say about Sir Loveliness. Yes Nikkia, yes I know. As for me, my fascination is more in his near-androgynous gorgeous looks, my fascination not being sexual in the least. No, really.

I really enjoyed him in Velvet Goldmine. But then I think it was more his character Brian Slade/Maxwell Demon that I loved. (My whole glam-rock fabulousness obsession and all.) Whatever. Here's some piccies. (Including him as Maxwell Demon. Yes.)

#5: Glenn Quinn (born in Dublin)

Do you remember him in Angel? I do. And he was only in like, 9 episodes, then he sacrificed himself so that others may live. I wanted to see more of him, but then he had to go and die of a heroin overdose in 2002. (Thanks.)

#4: Michael Fassbender (grew up in Killarney, County Kerry)

Ok, did you even SEE him in 300? DID YOU????

#3: Larry Mullen, Jr. (born in Artane, County Dublin)

My fascination with drummers continues. No wait, HE was the one who really started it all. I wonder if he has any sons....

#2: Damien Rice (born in Celbridge, County Kildare)

I was privileged enough to see him at Coachella this year and his lovely songs and earnest, beautiful tenor voice were enough to make me cry and hug him forever. This boy is too much. But I'm going to stop talking about him now because I can just see Lindsay standing over me with that "watch it" face so he's all yours now Linds.

#1: Colin Farrell (born in Castleknock, County Dublin)

Yeah.

Um...

Yeahhhh.

Why is he #1, you ask? I agree, he's not exactly the HOTTEST guy or the most talented artist or the most intelligent or the most charming. But I think he has to be #1 because he is hot ENOUGH and charming ENOUGH and there is that other thing... you know... that pesky naughty thing called "a reputation" that precedes him. And you know us girls and our thing for dirty dirty DIRTY - (no really - DIRTY) boys. I recall some very enjoyable discussions about Mr. Farrell over the past 4 years. And surprisingly, most of them were started by Tamara or Erin. Go fig.

Yeah.

Honorable Mention: The entire band Westlife (originated in County Sligo)

I just HAD to put this honorable mention down because us girls seem to look at Westlife with a bemused and entertained mentality. Also, I can't seem to separate the band members. Yeah - they kind of are a parcel deal.

Though they're not that particularly attractive, they're still enjoyable in some respect and that's really all. They serve their purpose, so there. No apologies.

FIN.

Coming soon: The British Invasion

Sometimes We Like Couples

A few weeks ago something that we all didn't expect to happened, happened.

After 10 assumedly blissful years of marital bliss, one of our favorite star couples, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his wife Dany, announced that they were going to separate.

A press statement was issued thusly:

"While certain aspects of our relationship have changed, we are both vitally important to each other's lives. We will continue to advance and manage our business interests, our philanthropic efforts and most importantly the raising of our child together, as a loving team. We've been fortunate enough to spend the last 17 years together as a couple and look forward to spending the rest our lives together as best friends and business partners."

So ok... some of us have expressed a bit of disappointment and sadness over this turn of events (and also expressed a bit of guilt in admitting that we, at the same time, thought "huzzah, The Rock is single" but still.) Why is this, many of you are asking. Why does it matter that people you've never met, famous people who more often than not don't give a rat's ass what you think, coming together and separating just like the larger, commoner demographic, make you care?

The answer is simple: Because they give us a bit of hope.

I, personally, consider myself lucky to have parents who are blissfully and disgustingly married for over 32 years (and counting). And although I'm not saying that they were without their rock bottom moments, I thank my mom and dad for showing my sis and I that no matter the situation, regardless of what bad times come along, they were willing to make it work. And you know, I'd like to think that all the bad shit that came down on them just helped to make their relationship stronger. Because to them marriage was FOR REAL, not trivialized, and something to sacrifice, compromise, fight over, cry over, celebrate over. I guess they're a rarity nowadays, which saddens me.

So I like to think that beyond family and friends' example one must take into account Hollywood's example. We all know that it's even harder for Hollywood couples to stay together (happily). In this entertainment microcosm there's a grandiose amount of abnormal drama and external factors that come into play. And yes, it's even a bit incestuous - partners swapping and breaking up and swapping with other partners, etc. Therefore, a long-term happily married Hollywood couple (made up of cool people that we actually like) is an ultimate rarity. (And in Hollywood, 5 years is like a lifetime.) And for this, we cherish each one that exists.

So I'm mourning the loss of one of my favorite couples. But in it's demise, I want to turn around and celebrate other favorite long-term Hollywood couples, whose relationships give me reason to stand up and say, "bravo" for beating the odds. Here are my top ten (and my venerated honorable mention.)

#10: Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy

Married: 10 years (Although they lived together for 15 years before deciding to tie the knot.)



#9: Kyra Sedgewick and Kevin Bacon

Married: 19 years

#8: Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy Osbourne

Married: 25 years



#7: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell

Partnered: 24 years (not officially married, but that doesn't matter to me.)

#6: Tracy Pollan and Michael J. Fox

Married: Almost 19 years

#5: Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins

Partnered: 19 years (another non-married pair, and he's 12 years younger...go girl.)

#4: Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito

Married: 25 years

#3: Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith

Married: 10 years

#2: Iman and David Bowie

Married: 15 years

#1: Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman

Married: 49 years

Venerable Honorable Mention: Gracie Allen and George Burns

George and Gracie were such a pair. Professional comedic partners and married for 38 years until her death in 1964. In an interview after her death, he described Gracie as "his next breath." He never remarried.

All You Have To Do Is Ask

Once upon a time, I recently went to a Bachelorette Party. All the fair princesses in attendance were frolicking merrily as they played games, watched the Guest of Honor open presents, and ate an inappropriately decorated cake.

However, all was not well as the *cough* "jesters" were late. Very late. And verily the princesses did leave, unable to wait any longer for the extremely unprofessional jesters to arrive. They left one by one, two by two, until the court's number dwindle to barely half the attendance. Sadly, I was to take my leave.

But wait! What is this!

The Matron of Honor made a grand announcement. The goodly neighbors volunteered to entertain the court this night. And lo, it came to be that two (and a half) goodly neighbors did dance around and all the princesses in the court were entertained.

And what is the moral of this story, my fair readers?

It is that, as much as we seem confused, frustrated, angry, or saddened by our relationships (or lack thereof) with men, tis a simple truth that shines through - a guy will take off his pants for you in a heartbeat. All you have to do is ask.