The Pick-Up Done RIGHT

I don't know about you, but I have a real problem saying No. A neighbor asks me to pet-sit her vomit-happy cat, I agree. My friend begs me to drive him down to Anaheim on a Sunday night to look at a car he might purchase, I say yes. An old co-worker pestered me on a daily basis to fix his computer/phone/misc. technology that he couldn't figure out for the life of him how to operate, I conceded (though I drew the line at filling his stapler -- yes he really did ask). Something inside compels me to be obliging and agree to things that frankly, I would rather not do in a hundred million years.

Same scenario applies when a guy asks for my number. Generally I look at him stupidly for a minute as though I didn't really understand the question, I stammer a few unintelligible syllables to stall for time, but inevitably I just hand over the digits thinking "this is going to come back and bite me in the ass." I'm too nice, or wracked by guilt, or perhaps just too stupid to provide a fake number. So now the only thing left to do is ignore his phone calls until he gets the hint and leaves me alone. He feels rejected and frustrated, I come off as a flaky bitch. It's an arduous process that could easily be averted if I could only figure out how to say NO.

or...

if men could only figure out how to get a woman's number the right way. Yes, I am about to tell you what that way is. Let's start from the beginning. The goal in picking up women is to avoid a) putting her in an awkward position where she is forced to give you her number even though she really doesn't want to, or b) facing direct rejection when she says No. I realize that some of you might be protesting "but hey, No Guts No Glory!" And you've got a point. But wouldn't you rather bypass the aforementioned awkwardness and get straight to the "so she IS interested" part? Yes, you would. Watch and learn:

This past weekend I was managing a large event for work as the Volunteer Coordinator. I had one particularly stand-out volunteer. Zeke. Tall, cute, black-rimmed "artist" glasses (Deanna, you're probably drooling). He arrived chipper and ready to pitch in at the crack of dawn, worked tirelessly throughout the day anywhere I needed him, and stayed until the bitter end to make sure that everthing was taken care of. Needless to say, I appreciated the help. And the eye candy. But with all the craziness of the event, I didn't really give it a second thought and went about my business. Fast forward to the end of the event -- exhausted, feet aching and drenched in sweat, I'm ready to go home. My boss walks up with a goofy grin on her face and presents me with a scrap of paper.

"Call Me :)
(###) ### - ####
- Zeke"

Gentlemen, take note. Good tactic, well executed. You put the ball in her court. Not only does it save her the embarrassment of saying NO or worse yet giving you her number even though she clearly would rather not, but it also saves you the embarrassment of a face-to-face rejection. If she doesn't call, no real loss of dignity or pride. If she does call, you know she's interested. She doesn't feel pestered or pressured, you don't risk going down in flames. It's a win-win situation.

- dusts hands, self-satisfied smile -

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A bit self-indulgent, no?

...

Val said...

one guess as to who "Anonymous" is. Anyone?

Hint: no one uses " ... " to make a point quite like he does.



and yes you're right, it's disgustingly self-indulgent.

Anonymous said...

s3lf-indulg3nt pwn.

Point me.

Anonymous said...

As the token guy friend attached to this particular SGC, I feel it oughtta be pointed out that while this method of approach might work really well for you, it's not quite as fitting for everybody here. I think it would be interesting to hear from everybody what they like (or don't -- gotta keep the comedy up) in an approach from a dude.

Make it so!