So, tonight I went to a Marc Broussard concert at The Avalon in Hollywood. It was a fan-fucking-tastic show, as always - seriously, go see him if you can. The only problem was that, at the end Marc came out and did a song with only keyboard and bass as an encore. He did "You Don't Know Me" and...well I wish I could tell you the other song but it was hard to hear over the gaggle of stupid drunken bitches who had migrated their way behind me.
They were "woo"ing, yelling out stupid things, and talking very loudly to each other while everyone else was quietly listening to the beautiful voice of Mr. Broussard. One of them bumped into me once or twice but, after turning around and shushing them (it didn't work for long), she started bumping into the girl next to me. We looked at each other at one point and just shook our heads in sadness and shared exasperation. Those drunken bitches kept saying "He's my boyfriend" and "He's so hot" and blah blah blah. At one point, Marc came a grabbed the hands of two or three girls in the very front. This whipped the soused sows into a frenzy, reaching out their hands and wooing and kicking up their overall obnoxiousness to an 11.
After the show was over, the girl who was next to me and I started talking about them (they rushed the stage after we moved). She was Amazonian like me and I'm sure the drunken bitches heard us, but I really don't care.
Now, I don't care if you're drunk and enjoying a concert but for the love of all that's holy, have some damn sense about it. Those bitches were surely there to sign up on the groupie list but, as a potential groupie, don't you think the artist would prefer you stuff an apple in it when he's singing? If it wasn't for the little girl I let stand next to me (it was an all ages show and my friend and I got to be in the very front), I would've yicked them in the throat Matrix style. But that would send the wrong message to America's youth so I contained myself. My fellow Amazon complemented me on my restraint. Because really, I did want to kick all their asses, just on GP.
There was really no point to this. I just really needed to get it off my chest.
P.S. What I really wish would've happened is Marc come over and take the little girl's hand, that way when those bitches tried to bum rush, I could elbow whoever hard in the gut and play it off as protecting the girl. She gets to have a super-awesome concert memory and I could've shut them up. That there is what they call a win-win situation.
Thanks, you made my day
Walking through the hallways at work, picking through a sea of debris and discarded art project materials as students prepare for final presentations and tonight's Graduation Show. Precariously balancing an iced coffee in one hand and a stack of signs and sticky-tape in the other as I attempt to enjoy my cool caffeinated beverage and post directional signage at the same time. Tricky. In the middle of said balancing act, I hear "Hi, are you a student here?" I whip around and there is a not-bad-looking guy (kind of cute actually) regarding me with a friendly quizzical smile. "Actually I work here" I reply, and look around a bit awkwardly for somewhere to put down one of my two burdens. "Oh how embarassing..." he begins, and I interrupt to say "oh no it's ok, I know I look like a student. I work in Special Events, in Marketing & Communications over in the annex. Grad Show is one of our events." He looks relieved and says "Oh good, well I just wanted to tell you I think you're beautiful. That would have been kind of embarassing if you were an instructor" I reply "Oh, well thank you! Nope, not an instructor, I just work here. I'm Valerie." I hold out my hand, and he replies "Charlie, nice to meet you. Well, have a great event!" and waves as he walks off in the other direction.
Thanks Charlie, you made my day.
Thanks Charlie, you made my day.
Aren't we a lively bunch?
WOW! It is great to see the SGC in full swing again! Welcome to the “anonymous” readers. Glad to have you. We are so thrilled that SGC has become a place that's an open forum for thoughts, opinions and dialogue, but please be respectful of one another and individual views. Also, though meant to mitigate any more harsh comments, please do not regulate our blog. If you find something you think we need to address then let us know and we will handle it.
xoxo, SGC
xoxo, SGC
Overheard at the KCRW studios
I'm outside, taking a break from answering phones for their pledge drive. I'm eating some tasty kahlua flavored marshmallows.
KCRW Employee, Male: So... what do you do? (to a super skinny, "attractive" female volunteer.)
Girl: Is that a trick question?
I spit out my marshmallow and fake coughing.
KCRW Employee, Male: So... what do you do? (to a super skinny, "attractive" female volunteer.)
Girl: Is that a trick question?
I spit out my marshmallow and fake coughing.
On an entirely unrelated note...
I've been having increasingly frequent dreams of a somewhat sexual nature featuring Chris Meloni, the hardened and oft times rebellious detective Elliott Stabler on NBC's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. He roughs up the bad guys and at the same time exhibits a fiercely protective attitude toward his female partner and victims. The perfect marriage of raw male power and sensitive compassion. And he is 46, making him approximately 21 years my senior.
I wonder what Freud would have to say about that.
"guy stuff" we love
a girlfriend and i were talking the other day about guys (shocking, i know), and how we really, really like GUYS. i mean, we really enjoy the sort of stereotypical "guy stuff" that the majority of our counterparts wouldn't really think we a) even notice or b) actually think is fucking cute.
SO, here is a short list of some things that (some/most) guys do that are just freakin' adorable. we may laugh about it, perhaps even roll our eyes when it happens, but still i think that most of us girls actually find stuff like this endearing and way cute. so here goes:
1. being WAY into a particular hobby (almost annoyingly so)
this stems from eating lunch with a male co-worker who was reading a magazine dedicated to fantasy football. some of you ladies may be screaming in horror right about now, but hear me out. while i'm definitely not a fan of fantasy football by any stretch, i found his obvious undying commitment to this sort of thing completely cute. while most guys tend to think that this sort of thing bugs the crap out of us (which it very well might) there's something sort of endearing about watching a guy sit for hours drafting his fantasy team, searching for guitar equipment all day online, clipping out pictures of "cool cars" or whatever other thing you guys do.
2. being amazed by our eyelash curler (or any other girly thing)
if it's happened once, it's happened a thousand times (ok, maybe not a THOUSAND, but you get the point). i'm putting on some make up in front of a guy and out comes the eyelash curler. you'd think i'd just pulled a fucking rabbit outta thin air cause i've rarely seen something both fascinate and scare a guy as much as this little silver makeup tool. they gaze with utter amazement at my working of this "contraption" wondering god knows what or trying to "figure it out" - and always asking if it hurts--which i happen to find hilarious. apparently, the secret workings of "girl-things" remain a source of mystery and intrigue for most men, which is quite entertaining.
3. opening a can/ jar/ bottle whose lid is too tight
now, let me preface this by saying i'm an independent woman who knows how to get her own shit done. but there's something about letting a guy flex a bit, so to speak, in assisting with the daunting task of opening a jar of raspberry jelly. i know that when we ask you to open said-jar, you look at us with this "really, you mean you really can't open that...? but it's SO easy" sort of look, sigh, give a slight twist that required absolutely no effort on your part, open the jar and hand it back to us. while it may be a small thing to you guys, to me, nothing is cuter than you helping a damsel in distress.
4. getting a hangnail/ papercut/ cold and it's the end of the world
now, i know a lot of my girlfriends may argue me on this one being cute, but i'm gonna attempt to defend this one. its utterly hilarious when guys sneeze and subsequently they think they're gonna die. a little cough/ cold/ fever - they've contracted the plauge. most guys relish in being big babies when they're sick, and quite honestly, to a certain extent - i really find this enjoyable. now, i'm a big sucker and live for taking care of people when they're sick and making them grilled cheese sandwiches and soup and shit, so i may not be the most objective when saying this is endearing - but to me a little bit of whining and pouty lip when you're feeling sick is super cute. word of advice to the guys - just don't push it though. cause for as much as i think that's cute, it can get not cute real fast.
5. romantic gestures that "fail"
i don't know how many times us girls need to say it, but it really is the thought that counts. and we mean it. (except for gold-digging bitches, cause yeah, that shit won't fly). but for the rest of us, the thought that you would even attempt to, oh, say, cook a 5 course meal but burn it all - is totally appreciated. it's not really about how things turn out, but it's more that you dug in there and tried to make a go of it. it's even cuter when you've come up with some elaborate scheme, say, for wrapping up a tiny gift - but you've put it in this absurdly large box, inside a box, inside a box, wrapped it with newspaper and duct tape and slapped a ribbon on it....um, adorable!
so, in conclusion...despite all of my (our) bitching about guys and how lame they can sometimes be -- there are redeeming qualities that keep us hanging in there. ladies, thoughts??
till next time.
SO, here is a short list of some things that (some/most) guys do that are just freakin' adorable. we may laugh about it, perhaps even roll our eyes when it happens, but still i think that most of us girls actually find stuff like this endearing and way cute. so here goes:
1. being WAY into a particular hobby (almost annoyingly so)
this stems from eating lunch with a male co-worker who was reading a magazine dedicated to fantasy football. some of you ladies may be screaming in horror right about now, but hear me out. while i'm definitely not a fan of fantasy football by any stretch, i found his obvious undying commitment to this sort of thing completely cute. while most guys tend to think that this sort of thing bugs the crap out of us (which it very well might) there's something sort of endearing about watching a guy sit for hours drafting his fantasy team, searching for guitar equipment all day online, clipping out pictures of "cool cars" or whatever other thing you guys do.
2. being amazed by our eyelash curler (or any other girly thing)
if it's happened once, it's happened a thousand times (ok, maybe not a THOUSAND, but you get the point). i'm putting on some make up in front of a guy and out comes the eyelash curler. you'd think i'd just pulled a fucking rabbit outta thin air cause i've rarely seen something both fascinate and scare a guy as much as this little silver makeup tool. they gaze with utter amazement at my working of this "contraption" wondering god knows what or trying to "figure it out" - and always asking if it hurts--which i happen to find hilarious. apparently, the secret workings of "girl-things" remain a source of mystery and intrigue for most men, which is quite entertaining.
3. opening a can/ jar/ bottle whose lid is too tight
now, let me preface this by saying i'm an independent woman who knows how to get her own shit done. but there's something about letting a guy flex a bit, so to speak, in assisting with the daunting task of opening a jar of raspberry jelly. i know that when we ask you to open said-jar, you look at us with this "really, you mean you really can't open that...? but it's SO easy" sort of look, sigh, give a slight twist that required absolutely no effort on your part, open the jar and hand it back to us. while it may be a small thing to you guys, to me, nothing is cuter than you helping a damsel in distress.
4. getting a hangnail/ papercut/ cold and it's the end of the world
now, i know a lot of my girlfriends may argue me on this one being cute, but i'm gonna attempt to defend this one. its utterly hilarious when guys sneeze and subsequently they think they're gonna die. a little cough/ cold/ fever - they've contracted the plauge. most guys relish in being big babies when they're sick, and quite honestly, to a certain extent - i really find this enjoyable. now, i'm a big sucker and live for taking care of people when they're sick and making them grilled cheese sandwiches and soup and shit, so i may not be the most objective when saying this is endearing - but to me a little bit of whining and pouty lip when you're feeling sick is super cute. word of advice to the guys - just don't push it though. cause for as much as i think that's cute, it can get not cute real fast.
5. romantic gestures that "fail"
i don't know how many times us girls need to say it, but it really is the thought that counts. and we mean it. (except for gold-digging bitches, cause yeah, that shit won't fly). but for the rest of us, the thought that you would even attempt to, oh, say, cook a 5 course meal but burn it all - is totally appreciated. it's not really about how things turn out, but it's more that you dug in there and tried to make a go of it. it's even cuter when you've come up with some elaborate scheme, say, for wrapping up a tiny gift - but you've put it in this absurdly large box, inside a box, inside a box, wrapped it with newspaper and duct tape and slapped a ribbon on it....um, adorable!
so, in conclusion...despite all of my (our) bitching about guys and how lame they can sometimes be -- there are redeeming qualities that keep us hanging in there. ladies, thoughts??
till next time.
Question for the Single Men
Gentlemen.
Firstly, hats off to you. In the cutthroat world of casual dating, the task of the "first approach" generally falls on your shoulders, and most of you carry the burden well (although i could do with a little less complaining from some of you, ahem you know who you are). As such, many of us females are either unfamiliar or entirely clueless as to the inner-turmoils of approaching the opposite sex. I concede (something I'm not wont to do often) that men have it harder in this arena, and I applaud your effort and more importantly the cajones it takes to put yourself out on that flimsy limb.
Kudos.
However. I would like to pose this question to you brave soldiers. Once that approach has been made --whether you've asked a co-worker out for drinks or struck up a conversation with a girl in the grocery store line -- what is it exactly that you expect from us? I say this not to be snide or condescending, but out of a geniune desire to know the best way to handle the situation if we really aren't interested. Because sometimes, we're not.
Let it be said that while it takes tremendous courage to put yourself out there, and we can applaud and appreciate that effort -- it does not require us to reciprocate the feeling. Yes, I believe such an effort should be met with respect and, more importantly, plain good manners. Don't belittle the guy for trying, it's not like we're in the habit of making the same effort.
BUT ... Gentlemen, help me out here ... what is the best way for us to say "thanks but no thanks" ??? Is a polite decline right away the best route? Do we accept one date? And if so, how does that work? Especially if the guy thinks that the date went well and you "really hit it off" ... and meanwhile you're thinking Sorry Charlie ... how do you let him down gently? Inquiring minds want to know. Seriously.
So guys. Help a Single Girl out.
Firstly, hats off to you. In the cutthroat world of casual dating, the task of the "first approach" generally falls on your shoulders, and most of you carry the burden well (although i could do with a little less complaining from some of you, ahem you know who you are). As such, many of us females are either unfamiliar or entirely clueless as to the inner-turmoils of approaching the opposite sex. I concede (something I'm not wont to do often) that men have it harder in this arena, and I applaud your effort and more importantly the cajones it takes to put yourself out on that flimsy limb.
Kudos.
However. I would like to pose this question to you brave soldiers. Once that approach has been made --whether you've asked a co-worker out for drinks or struck up a conversation with a girl in the grocery store line -- what is it exactly that you expect from us? I say this not to be snide or condescending, but out of a geniune desire to know the best way to handle the situation if we really aren't interested. Because sometimes, we're not.
Let it be said that while it takes tremendous courage to put yourself out there, and we can applaud and appreciate that effort -- it does not require us to reciprocate the feeling. Yes, I believe such an effort should be met with respect and, more importantly, plain good manners. Don't belittle the guy for trying, it's not like we're in the habit of making the same effort.
BUT ... Gentlemen, help me out here ... what is the best way for us to say "thanks but no thanks" ??? Is a polite decline right away the best route? Do we accept one date? And if so, how does that work? Especially if the guy thinks that the date went well and you "really hit it off" ... and meanwhile you're thinking Sorry Charlie ... how do you let him down gently? Inquiring minds want to know. Seriously.
So guys. Help a Single Girl out.
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