I'm tall, Mo is short and together we're going to be given specialized advice and opinions. Since so many of you out there seem to be full of questions (or bitterness...whichever), I thought it would be nice to open the floor and see if any of you have any specific questions or topics you'd like us to cover - not that we don't have ideas ourselves, I just want to get a gage on what's troubling you poor folks out there.
So please, leave a question or topic in the comments and we'll do what we can.
Good times.
Goodbye To You
You know that phenomenon where a much-beloved song from the past comes on the radio and you start humming along, mumbling a word here and there if you don't know it well or belting out the lyrics like you're three sheets to the wind at a karaoke bar? And then suddenly the message of the song hits you like a ton of bricks and you realize that the song is ABOUT YOU. It perfectly encapsultes a time, a place, a feeling, a relationship in your life in a succint, eerily perfect manner. That pile of bricks hit me as I flipped the radio dial to Jack FM yesterday afternoon in the car and what comes on but the classic "Goodbye To You" by Scandal, a 1982 gem featuring frontwoman Patty Smyth and a gaggle of backup musicians sporting Flock of Seagulls hairdos. Without going into any "excuse me while I go be awesome" details (if you need that one explained, just ask) -- I realized that this exceptionally awesome tune perfectly captures the last few months of my late (read: recently deceased) relationship:
These last few weeks of holdin' on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say Goodbye to you
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to you
Cause baby it's over now
No need to talk about it
It's not the same
My love for you's just not the same
It's funny how relationships change over time -- people grow apart, feelings change, sometimes without warning or explanation. There may be love left but it's not the same (thank you Scandal), and when that happens... it's usually best to say Goodbye.
Also, check out the Miami Vice-looking dude with the white blazer and scrunched sleeves. Classic.
There is no love for LB
Who is LB you ask? Well LB stands for Lil Black, my little black Acura TSX. I call her LB because before her I drove Big Red, my Big Red Chevy. I'm so creative when it comes to naming my cars. Anyway, it seems as if people don't have love for LB. The second time, in less than a year, she's been banged up. Once while I was parked on a side street and now today while I was sitting at a stop light with a bunch of other cars. WTF is up with people not able to see a shiny black car in broad daylight? I'm just saying. Really?
I was sitting at a red light thinking about the million things I had to do today and the next thing a know, POW!, some chick hits me in my ass. She got all up in my shit too. (Acura's have great brakes because upon impact I pressed down hard on my brakes and the car didn't move thus preventing me from hitting the car in front of me.) I immediately turn on my turn signal to indicate to the woman who hit me that I was going to get off the street. The other cars were nice enough to let me (and her) through, but as I was pulling into the driveway she takes off. BITCH@!!!!! Luckily, the car behind her took down her license plate number and pulled into the parking lot to give it to me. I called the police to report the hit and run, they took down my information and commenced to tracking her ass down. They found her close by, apparently she went home to tell her husband about what she did. The officer asked me if I wanted to press charges. Believe me I would have but I wanted her to tell me why she just took off. So I told the officer that I wanted her to tell me why she took off before I decided whether or not to press charges. When she, along with her husband and baby, came back she was so scared and frantic. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. She apologized profusely, the officer told her what major problems would have occurred if I decided to press charges and/or if I had been seriously injured. I told her that I would be taking this up with her insurance company and we left it at that. I'm just pissed because now I can't get into my damned trunk.
Happy Monday!
I was sitting at a red light thinking about the million things I had to do today and the next thing a know, POW!, some chick hits me in my ass. She got all up in my shit too. (Acura's have great brakes because upon impact I pressed down hard on my brakes and the car didn't move thus preventing me from hitting the car in front of me.) I immediately turn on my turn signal to indicate to the woman who hit me that I was going to get off the street. The other cars were nice enough to let me (and her) through, but as I was pulling into the driveway she takes off. BITCH@!!!!! Luckily, the car behind her took down her license plate number and pulled into the parking lot to give it to me. I called the police to report the hit and run, they took down my information and commenced to tracking her ass down. They found her close by, apparently she went home to tell her husband about what she did. The officer asked me if I wanted to press charges. Believe me I would have but I wanted her to tell me why she just took off. So I told the officer that I wanted her to tell me why she took off before I decided whether or not to press charges. When she, along with her husband and baby, came back she was so scared and frantic. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. She apologized profusely, the officer told her what major problems would have occurred if I decided to press charges and/or if I had been seriously injured. I told her that I would be taking this up with her insurance company and we left it at that. I'm just pissed because now I can't get into my damned trunk.
Happy Monday!
Drunken Bitches
So, tonight I went to a Marc Broussard concert at The Avalon in Hollywood. It was a fan-fucking-tastic show, as always - seriously, go see him if you can. The only problem was that, at the end Marc came out and did a song with only keyboard and bass as an encore. He did "You Don't Know Me" and...well I wish I could tell you the other song but it was hard to hear over the gaggle of stupid drunken bitches who had migrated their way behind me.
They were "woo"ing, yelling out stupid things, and talking very loudly to each other while everyone else was quietly listening to the beautiful voice of Mr. Broussard. One of them bumped into me once or twice but, after turning around and shushing them (it didn't work for long), she started bumping into the girl next to me. We looked at each other at one point and just shook our heads in sadness and shared exasperation. Those drunken bitches kept saying "He's my boyfriend" and "He's so hot" and blah blah blah. At one point, Marc came a grabbed the hands of two or three girls in the very front. This whipped the soused sows into a frenzy, reaching out their hands and wooing and kicking up their overall obnoxiousness to an 11.
After the show was over, the girl who was next to me and I started talking about them (they rushed the stage after we moved). She was Amazonian like me and I'm sure the drunken bitches heard us, but I really don't care.
Now, I don't care if you're drunk and enjoying a concert but for the love of all that's holy, have some damn sense about it. Those bitches were surely there to sign up on the groupie list but, as a potential groupie, don't you think the artist would prefer you stuff an apple in it when he's singing? If it wasn't for the little girl I let stand next to me (it was an all ages show and my friend and I got to be in the very front), I would've yicked them in the throat Matrix style. But that would send the wrong message to America's youth so I contained myself. My fellow Amazon complemented me on my restraint. Because really, I did want to kick all their asses, just on GP.
There was really no point to this. I just really needed to get it off my chest.
P.S. What I really wish would've happened is Marc come over and take the little girl's hand, that way when those bitches tried to bum rush, I could elbow whoever hard in the gut and play it off as protecting the girl. She gets to have a super-awesome concert memory and I could've shut them up. That there is what they call a win-win situation.
They were "woo"ing, yelling out stupid things, and talking very loudly to each other while everyone else was quietly listening to the beautiful voice of Mr. Broussard. One of them bumped into me once or twice but, after turning around and shushing them (it didn't work for long), she started bumping into the girl next to me. We looked at each other at one point and just shook our heads in sadness and shared exasperation. Those drunken bitches kept saying "He's my boyfriend" and "He's so hot" and blah blah blah. At one point, Marc came a grabbed the hands of two or three girls in the very front. This whipped the soused sows into a frenzy, reaching out their hands and wooing and kicking up their overall obnoxiousness to an 11.
After the show was over, the girl who was next to me and I started talking about them (they rushed the stage after we moved). She was Amazonian like me and I'm sure the drunken bitches heard us, but I really don't care.
Now, I don't care if you're drunk and enjoying a concert but for the love of all that's holy, have some damn sense about it. Those bitches were surely there to sign up on the groupie list but, as a potential groupie, don't you think the artist would prefer you stuff an apple in it when he's singing? If it wasn't for the little girl I let stand next to me (it was an all ages show and my friend and I got to be in the very front), I would've yicked them in the throat Matrix style. But that would send the wrong message to America's youth so I contained myself. My fellow Amazon complemented me on my restraint. Because really, I did want to kick all their asses, just on GP.
There was really no point to this. I just really needed to get it off my chest.
P.S. What I really wish would've happened is Marc come over and take the little girl's hand, that way when those bitches tried to bum rush, I could elbow whoever hard in the gut and play it off as protecting the girl. She gets to have a super-awesome concert memory and I could've shut them up. That there is what they call a win-win situation.
Thanks, you made my day
Walking through the hallways at work, picking through a sea of debris and discarded art project materials as students prepare for final presentations and tonight's Graduation Show. Precariously balancing an iced coffee in one hand and a stack of signs and sticky-tape in the other as I attempt to enjoy my cool caffeinated beverage and post directional signage at the same time. Tricky. In the middle of said balancing act, I hear "Hi, are you a student here?" I whip around and there is a not-bad-looking guy (kind of cute actually) regarding me with a friendly quizzical smile. "Actually I work here" I reply, and look around a bit awkwardly for somewhere to put down one of my two burdens. "Oh how embarassing..." he begins, and I interrupt to say "oh no it's ok, I know I look like a student. I work in Special Events, in Marketing & Communications over in the annex. Grad Show is one of our events." He looks relieved and says "Oh good, well I just wanted to tell you I think you're beautiful. That would have been kind of embarassing if you were an instructor" I reply "Oh, well thank you! Nope, not an instructor, I just work here. I'm Valerie." I hold out my hand, and he replies "Charlie, nice to meet you. Well, have a great event!" and waves as he walks off in the other direction.
Thanks Charlie, you made my day.
Thanks Charlie, you made my day.
Aren't we a lively bunch?
WOW! It is great to see the SGC in full swing again! Welcome to the “anonymous” readers. Glad to have you. We are so thrilled that SGC has become a place that's an open forum for thoughts, opinions and dialogue, but please be respectful of one another and individual views. Also, though meant to mitigate any more harsh comments, please do not regulate our blog. If you find something you think we need to address then let us know and we will handle it.
xoxo, SGC
xoxo, SGC
Overheard at the KCRW studios
I'm outside, taking a break from answering phones for their pledge drive. I'm eating some tasty kahlua flavored marshmallows.
KCRW Employee, Male: So... what do you do? (to a super skinny, "attractive" female volunteer.)
Girl: Is that a trick question?
I spit out my marshmallow and fake coughing.
KCRW Employee, Male: So... what do you do? (to a super skinny, "attractive" female volunteer.)
Girl: Is that a trick question?
I spit out my marshmallow and fake coughing.
On an entirely unrelated note...
I've been having increasingly frequent dreams of a somewhat sexual nature featuring Chris Meloni, the hardened and oft times rebellious detective Elliott Stabler on NBC's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. He roughs up the bad guys and at the same time exhibits a fiercely protective attitude toward his female partner and victims. The perfect marriage of raw male power and sensitive compassion. And he is 46, making him approximately 21 years my senior.
I wonder what Freud would have to say about that.
"guy stuff" we love
a girlfriend and i were talking the other day about guys (shocking, i know), and how we really, really like GUYS. i mean, we really enjoy the sort of stereotypical "guy stuff" that the majority of our counterparts wouldn't really think we a) even notice or b) actually think is fucking cute.
SO, here is a short list of some things that (some/most) guys do that are just freakin' adorable. we may laugh about it, perhaps even roll our eyes when it happens, but still i think that most of us girls actually find stuff like this endearing and way cute. so here goes:
1. being WAY into a particular hobby (almost annoyingly so)
this stems from eating lunch with a male co-worker who was reading a magazine dedicated to fantasy football. some of you ladies may be screaming in horror right about now, but hear me out. while i'm definitely not a fan of fantasy football by any stretch, i found his obvious undying commitment to this sort of thing completely cute. while most guys tend to think that this sort of thing bugs the crap out of us (which it very well might) there's something sort of endearing about watching a guy sit for hours drafting his fantasy team, searching for guitar equipment all day online, clipping out pictures of "cool cars" or whatever other thing you guys do.
2. being amazed by our eyelash curler (or any other girly thing)
if it's happened once, it's happened a thousand times (ok, maybe not a THOUSAND, but you get the point). i'm putting on some make up in front of a guy and out comes the eyelash curler. you'd think i'd just pulled a fucking rabbit outta thin air cause i've rarely seen something both fascinate and scare a guy as much as this little silver makeup tool. they gaze with utter amazement at my working of this "contraption" wondering god knows what or trying to "figure it out" - and always asking if it hurts--which i happen to find hilarious. apparently, the secret workings of "girl-things" remain a source of mystery and intrigue for most men, which is quite entertaining.
3. opening a can/ jar/ bottle whose lid is too tight
now, let me preface this by saying i'm an independent woman who knows how to get her own shit done. but there's something about letting a guy flex a bit, so to speak, in assisting with the daunting task of opening a jar of raspberry jelly. i know that when we ask you to open said-jar, you look at us with this "really, you mean you really can't open that...? but it's SO easy" sort of look, sigh, give a slight twist that required absolutely no effort on your part, open the jar and hand it back to us. while it may be a small thing to you guys, to me, nothing is cuter than you helping a damsel in distress.
4. getting a hangnail/ papercut/ cold and it's the end of the world
now, i know a lot of my girlfriends may argue me on this one being cute, but i'm gonna attempt to defend this one. its utterly hilarious when guys sneeze and subsequently they think they're gonna die. a little cough/ cold/ fever - they've contracted the plauge. most guys relish in being big babies when they're sick, and quite honestly, to a certain extent - i really find this enjoyable. now, i'm a big sucker and live for taking care of people when they're sick and making them grilled cheese sandwiches and soup and shit, so i may not be the most objective when saying this is endearing - but to me a little bit of whining and pouty lip when you're feeling sick is super cute. word of advice to the guys - just don't push it though. cause for as much as i think that's cute, it can get not cute real fast.
5. romantic gestures that "fail"
i don't know how many times us girls need to say it, but it really is the thought that counts. and we mean it. (except for gold-digging bitches, cause yeah, that shit won't fly). but for the rest of us, the thought that you would even attempt to, oh, say, cook a 5 course meal but burn it all - is totally appreciated. it's not really about how things turn out, but it's more that you dug in there and tried to make a go of it. it's even cuter when you've come up with some elaborate scheme, say, for wrapping up a tiny gift - but you've put it in this absurdly large box, inside a box, inside a box, wrapped it with newspaper and duct tape and slapped a ribbon on it....um, adorable!
so, in conclusion...despite all of my (our) bitching about guys and how lame they can sometimes be -- there are redeeming qualities that keep us hanging in there. ladies, thoughts??
till next time.
SO, here is a short list of some things that (some/most) guys do that are just freakin' adorable. we may laugh about it, perhaps even roll our eyes when it happens, but still i think that most of us girls actually find stuff like this endearing and way cute. so here goes:
1. being WAY into a particular hobby (almost annoyingly so)
this stems from eating lunch with a male co-worker who was reading a magazine dedicated to fantasy football. some of you ladies may be screaming in horror right about now, but hear me out. while i'm definitely not a fan of fantasy football by any stretch, i found his obvious undying commitment to this sort of thing completely cute. while most guys tend to think that this sort of thing bugs the crap out of us (which it very well might) there's something sort of endearing about watching a guy sit for hours drafting his fantasy team, searching for guitar equipment all day online, clipping out pictures of "cool cars" or whatever other thing you guys do.
2. being amazed by our eyelash curler (or any other girly thing)
if it's happened once, it's happened a thousand times (ok, maybe not a THOUSAND, but you get the point). i'm putting on some make up in front of a guy and out comes the eyelash curler. you'd think i'd just pulled a fucking rabbit outta thin air cause i've rarely seen something both fascinate and scare a guy as much as this little silver makeup tool. they gaze with utter amazement at my working of this "contraption" wondering god knows what or trying to "figure it out" - and always asking if it hurts--which i happen to find hilarious. apparently, the secret workings of "girl-things" remain a source of mystery and intrigue for most men, which is quite entertaining.
3. opening a can/ jar/ bottle whose lid is too tight
now, let me preface this by saying i'm an independent woman who knows how to get her own shit done. but there's something about letting a guy flex a bit, so to speak, in assisting with the daunting task of opening a jar of raspberry jelly. i know that when we ask you to open said-jar, you look at us with this "really, you mean you really can't open that...? but it's SO easy" sort of look, sigh, give a slight twist that required absolutely no effort on your part, open the jar and hand it back to us. while it may be a small thing to you guys, to me, nothing is cuter than you helping a damsel in distress.
4. getting a hangnail/ papercut/ cold and it's the end of the world
now, i know a lot of my girlfriends may argue me on this one being cute, but i'm gonna attempt to defend this one. its utterly hilarious when guys sneeze and subsequently they think they're gonna die. a little cough/ cold/ fever - they've contracted the plauge. most guys relish in being big babies when they're sick, and quite honestly, to a certain extent - i really find this enjoyable. now, i'm a big sucker and live for taking care of people when they're sick and making them grilled cheese sandwiches and soup and shit, so i may not be the most objective when saying this is endearing - but to me a little bit of whining and pouty lip when you're feeling sick is super cute. word of advice to the guys - just don't push it though. cause for as much as i think that's cute, it can get not cute real fast.
5. romantic gestures that "fail"
i don't know how many times us girls need to say it, but it really is the thought that counts. and we mean it. (except for gold-digging bitches, cause yeah, that shit won't fly). but for the rest of us, the thought that you would even attempt to, oh, say, cook a 5 course meal but burn it all - is totally appreciated. it's not really about how things turn out, but it's more that you dug in there and tried to make a go of it. it's even cuter when you've come up with some elaborate scheme, say, for wrapping up a tiny gift - but you've put it in this absurdly large box, inside a box, inside a box, wrapped it with newspaper and duct tape and slapped a ribbon on it....um, adorable!
so, in conclusion...despite all of my (our) bitching about guys and how lame they can sometimes be -- there are redeeming qualities that keep us hanging in there. ladies, thoughts??
till next time.
Question for the Single Men
Gentlemen.
Firstly, hats off to you. In the cutthroat world of casual dating, the task of the "first approach" generally falls on your shoulders, and most of you carry the burden well (although i could do with a little less complaining from some of you, ahem you know who you are). As such, many of us females are either unfamiliar or entirely clueless as to the inner-turmoils of approaching the opposite sex. I concede (something I'm not wont to do often) that men have it harder in this arena, and I applaud your effort and more importantly the cajones it takes to put yourself out on that flimsy limb.
Kudos.
However. I would like to pose this question to you brave soldiers. Once that approach has been made --whether you've asked a co-worker out for drinks or struck up a conversation with a girl in the grocery store line -- what is it exactly that you expect from us? I say this not to be snide or condescending, but out of a geniune desire to know the best way to handle the situation if we really aren't interested. Because sometimes, we're not.
Let it be said that while it takes tremendous courage to put yourself out there, and we can applaud and appreciate that effort -- it does not require us to reciprocate the feeling. Yes, I believe such an effort should be met with respect and, more importantly, plain good manners. Don't belittle the guy for trying, it's not like we're in the habit of making the same effort.
BUT ... Gentlemen, help me out here ... what is the best way for us to say "thanks but no thanks" ??? Is a polite decline right away the best route? Do we accept one date? And if so, how does that work? Especially if the guy thinks that the date went well and you "really hit it off" ... and meanwhile you're thinking Sorry Charlie ... how do you let him down gently? Inquiring minds want to know. Seriously.
So guys. Help a Single Girl out.
Firstly, hats off to you. In the cutthroat world of casual dating, the task of the "first approach" generally falls on your shoulders, and most of you carry the burden well (although i could do with a little less complaining from some of you, ahem you know who you are). As such, many of us females are either unfamiliar or entirely clueless as to the inner-turmoils of approaching the opposite sex. I concede (something I'm not wont to do often) that men have it harder in this arena, and I applaud your effort and more importantly the cajones it takes to put yourself out on that flimsy limb.
Kudos.
However. I would like to pose this question to you brave soldiers. Once that approach has been made --whether you've asked a co-worker out for drinks or struck up a conversation with a girl in the grocery store line -- what is it exactly that you expect from us? I say this not to be snide or condescending, but out of a geniune desire to know the best way to handle the situation if we really aren't interested. Because sometimes, we're not.
Let it be said that while it takes tremendous courage to put yourself out there, and we can applaud and appreciate that effort -- it does not require us to reciprocate the feeling. Yes, I believe such an effort should be met with respect and, more importantly, plain good manners. Don't belittle the guy for trying, it's not like we're in the habit of making the same effort.
BUT ... Gentlemen, help me out here ... what is the best way for us to say "thanks but no thanks" ??? Is a polite decline right away the best route? Do we accept one date? And if so, how does that work? Especially if the guy thinks that the date went well and you "really hit it off" ... and meanwhile you're thinking Sorry Charlie ... how do you let him down gently? Inquiring minds want to know. Seriously.
So guys. Help a Single Girl out.
Pretty Guy of the Week
Ah...Pretty Guys, how we've missed you. For my triumphant return, I offer you model/actor Marco Dapper. He hasn't been in much in terms of acting but he better get a move on. He's far too pretty not to be on the big screen. While straight, he plays a bi-sexual figure model in the move Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds. Yes, it sounds like porn but it's not (even though he does appear naked in it). God bless the gays. They have the best taste.
Big ups to amazing photographer Adam Bouska (check out this site too), One Stop Cool, Hunk Du Jour, and Techstickle for the pics.
Guess who's back in the mother f'ing house...
Yes yes...it's been awhile. I've been silent for a long time and I have to apologize for that. But I'd just like to announce that I have a couple of things in the works that will be appearing in the next few weeks and I'm digging them and I hope you will too.
Be prepared.
Be prepared.
what makes men fall in love?
so as i was "working" today i came across this article on yahoo news from men's health magazine (sidenote: i always appreciate the mens on the cover...sigh). while normally i think most of this stuff is total propagana, this one sorta made sense. see my thoughts in CAPS. what do the rest of you think??
Here goes:
Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.
When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex comes in at a skimpy 8 percent, according to a national Harris Interactive poll), but let's delve a little deeper. What exactly does that mean, and what kind of woman does a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of "24," these are some of things that many men value in "the one."
A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him
Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there's a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.
THANK GOD! OFTEN TIMES WOMEN GET STEREOTYPED INTO THE "I WANT TO SPEND EVERY LAST SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH MY MAN CAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER REASON TO LIVE" CATEGORY AND THAT'S UBER-LAME IN MY BOOK. I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND PREACH, CAUSE I (AND I'M SURE MANY OTHERS) HAVE BEEN GUILTY OF THIS AT LEAST ONCE IN OUR LIVES. BUT THANK GOD WE LEARN AND REALIZE THAT WE HAD KICK ASS LIVES BEFORE WE MET "THE GUY" - AND OUR LIVES SHOULD BE EQUALLY KICK ASS WHEN WE'VE DECIDED TO LET THEM JOIN OUR PARTY. JUST CAUSE YOU'RE WITH DUDE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD DITCH YOUR YOGA CLASS, GOING TO YOUR KNITTING CIRLCE (OR WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT) OR UM, LET'S SEE...KEEPING AND HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS! SO KUDOS FOR THIS ONE WRITER-GUY.
A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time
Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!
AGAIN, THANK GOD. CAUSE REALLY, I DON'T NEED/ WANT TO SEE YOU EVERYDAY. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVERYDAY. AND WHEN I DO SEE YOU, THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO BE DOING IS BURPING AND MAKING OTHER GUY NOISES OR TELLING JOKES THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M STUCK IN SOME STANKY LOCKER ROOM. SO PLEASE. HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
A Woman with a Strut
Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and little daring. In a recent post I talked about the line between a woman being confident and a woman being so aggressive that she turns men away, but the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the strut. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.
OK. MORE MEN NEED TO FEEL THIS WAY. I'M NOT SURE MANY DO - AT LEAST NOT THE ONES I'VE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH. BUT MEN WHO THINK REAL CONFIDENCE IS SEXY GETS AN A+ IN MY BOOK. THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN WHO "CLAIM" TO WANT THIS, BUT ONCE THEY GET IT, DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO THAT? - MAN UP BITCHES. I MEAN, REALLY. IF YOU'RE CHOOSING TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO CHALLENGES YOU - YOU BEST STEP UP AND TAKE IT. AND A NOTE FOR WOMEN - I AGREE THAT BEING WAAAYYY CONFIDENT CAN TRANSLATE TO BEING OVERLY AGGRESSIVE WHICH EQUALS SORTA SCARY. NO NEED TO BE A BALL BUSTER HERE. I THINK THERE'S A FINE LINE OF KNOWING WHEN TO DISH SOME OUT AND WHEN TO HOLD IT BACK.
A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties
Okay, so we don't really care about the ties per se. But what we care about is a woman's ability to give us a little-and this is a key word-gentle guidance. I know Freudian followers will say that it's a man's need to be mothered, but it's more than that. Every relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.
AMEN WRITER-GUY, AMEN. THIS IS ONE THING THAT IS AMAZING ABOUT WOMEN. WE KNOW HOW TO GET SHIT DONE IN A WAY THAT IS SO SUBTLE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN REALIZE ITS HAPPENING TILL VOILA! IT'S DONE. (HILARY CLINTON FOR PREZ ANYONE?)I'M JUST SAYING...
excuse me while i go be awesome.
Here goes:
Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.
When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex comes in at a skimpy 8 percent, according to a national Harris Interactive poll), but let's delve a little deeper. What exactly does that mean, and what kind of woman does a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of "24," these are some of things that many men value in "the one."
A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him
Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there's a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.
THANK GOD! OFTEN TIMES WOMEN GET STEREOTYPED INTO THE "I WANT TO SPEND EVERY LAST SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH MY MAN CAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER REASON TO LIVE" CATEGORY AND THAT'S UBER-LAME IN MY BOOK. I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND PREACH, CAUSE I (AND I'M SURE MANY OTHERS) HAVE BEEN GUILTY OF THIS AT LEAST ONCE IN OUR LIVES. BUT THANK GOD WE LEARN AND REALIZE THAT WE HAD KICK ASS LIVES BEFORE WE MET "THE GUY" - AND OUR LIVES SHOULD BE EQUALLY KICK ASS WHEN WE'VE DECIDED TO LET THEM JOIN OUR PARTY. JUST CAUSE YOU'RE WITH DUDE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD DITCH YOUR YOGA CLASS, GOING TO YOUR KNITTING CIRLCE (OR WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT) OR UM, LET'S SEE...KEEPING AND HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS! SO KUDOS FOR THIS ONE WRITER-GUY.
A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time
Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!
AGAIN, THANK GOD. CAUSE REALLY, I DON'T NEED/ WANT TO SEE YOU EVERYDAY. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVERYDAY. AND WHEN I DO SEE YOU, THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO BE DOING IS BURPING AND MAKING OTHER GUY NOISES OR TELLING JOKES THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M STUCK IN SOME STANKY LOCKER ROOM. SO PLEASE. HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
A Woman with a Strut
Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and little daring. In a recent post I talked about the line between a woman being confident and a woman being so aggressive that she turns men away, but the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the strut. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.
OK. MORE MEN NEED TO FEEL THIS WAY. I'M NOT SURE MANY DO - AT LEAST NOT THE ONES I'VE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH. BUT MEN WHO THINK REAL CONFIDENCE IS SEXY GETS AN A+ IN MY BOOK. THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN WHO "CLAIM" TO WANT THIS, BUT ONCE THEY GET IT, DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO THAT? - MAN UP BITCHES. I MEAN, REALLY. IF YOU'RE CHOOSING TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO CHALLENGES YOU - YOU BEST STEP UP AND TAKE IT. AND A NOTE FOR WOMEN - I AGREE THAT BEING WAAAYYY CONFIDENT CAN TRANSLATE TO BEING OVERLY AGGRESSIVE WHICH EQUALS SORTA SCARY. NO NEED TO BE A BALL BUSTER HERE. I THINK THERE'S A FINE LINE OF KNOWING WHEN TO DISH SOME OUT AND WHEN TO HOLD IT BACK.
A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties
Okay, so we don't really care about the ties per se. But what we care about is a woman's ability to give us a little-and this is a key word-gentle guidance. I know Freudian followers will say that it's a man's need to be mothered, but it's more than that. Every relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.
AMEN WRITER-GUY, AMEN. THIS IS ONE THING THAT IS AMAZING ABOUT WOMEN. WE KNOW HOW TO GET SHIT DONE IN A WAY THAT IS SO SUBTLE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN REALIZE ITS HAPPENING TILL VOILA! IT'S DONE. (HILARY CLINTON FOR PREZ ANYONE?)I'M JUST SAYING...
excuse me while i go be awesome.
I'm entertaining the idea of someone. . .
a few weeks ago, a co-worker asked me out for drinks. I knew he was going to because another co-worker sent me a text warning me. good looking out oli!! so the next day in the afternoon, i'm sitting at my desk in the office wrapping up the day and in he walks. can you say cornered? i can. i flash him a smile and say, "what's up? what are you up to this afternoon?" he says, " i don't know, i was about to ask you the same thing, if you wanted to go get a drink after work." keep in mind that my office isn't exactly MY office, there are several other people in the office who can hear everything. so i say, "today? i can't go today. let me see when i can." i pull out my crackberry (i love my crackberry) to look at my calendar. i tell him i can go next tuesday and he says, "okay," then leaves.
the next tuesday rolls around and i haven't seen or heard from this guy in a week. i'm coming back to my office after a long ass meeting and find him loitering in the hall. i'm sorry, but that was a little creepy. he asks me if we were still on for the night. i'm thinking to myself, you should have asked me yesterday, but i respond with, "sure, i just have to wrap up my desk first." he told me he'd be right back, dude didn't come back for almost 45 mins. the only reason i waited was because i didn't want to repeat the drinks date. better to get it over with then and there. we make arrangements to go to a local wine bar(side note: guys, NEVER take a woman you're into to a bar with really hot bartenders. just DON'T!). we have great conversation but i'm totally not feeling it. i'm looking at him from every angle, he's really sweet. that's a plus for him. but i sense a little bit of a door mat, minus. the biggest minus is that he took two fricken years to ask me out. WTF. After an hour or so i cut the date short as i have another appointment, give him a hug goodbye and leave.
the next day i'm hearing from mutual friends that he thinks we had a great time and that we have alot in common. um, what date was he on? just because two adults sat together for an hour and had a decent conversation where mutual interests came up? this means we'll end up in bed together? um, i don't think so buddy. we may have talked about cars but you definitely didn't rev my engine. not in the slightest glimpse of a rev. moving on. he corners me again in my office. seriously, i'm getting a little creeped out. he's a sweetheart, but this sneaking up on a girl will get you hurt. i'm just saying. so, he asks me to take a walk with him he wants to ask me something. when we get outside he asks me if i was seeing anyone. i tell him, "i'm entertaining the idea of someone." i didn't know what to say. i didn't want to have the ' i'm not really dating right now, i work with you i don't think it's a good idea' conversation. he takes this to mean that i'm seeing someone and we end it at that.
now everytime we see each other in the halls he waves to me, but never looks me in the eye. WTF is that about? i can't not like someone? damn.
the next tuesday rolls around and i haven't seen or heard from this guy in a week. i'm coming back to my office after a long ass meeting and find him loitering in the hall. i'm sorry, but that was a little creepy. he asks me if we were still on for the night. i'm thinking to myself, you should have asked me yesterday, but i respond with, "sure, i just have to wrap up my desk first." he told me he'd be right back, dude didn't come back for almost 45 mins. the only reason i waited was because i didn't want to repeat the drinks date. better to get it over with then and there. we make arrangements to go to a local wine bar(side note: guys, NEVER take a woman you're into to a bar with really hot bartenders. just DON'T!). we have great conversation but i'm totally not feeling it. i'm looking at him from every angle, he's really sweet. that's a plus for him. but i sense a little bit of a door mat, minus. the biggest minus is that he took two fricken years to ask me out. WTF. After an hour or so i cut the date short as i have another appointment, give him a hug goodbye and leave.
the next day i'm hearing from mutual friends that he thinks we had a great time and that we have alot in common. um, what date was he on? just because two adults sat together for an hour and had a decent conversation where mutual interests came up? this means we'll end up in bed together? um, i don't think so buddy. we may have talked about cars but you definitely didn't rev my engine. not in the slightest glimpse of a rev. moving on. he corners me again in my office. seriously, i'm getting a little creeped out. he's a sweetheart, but this sneaking up on a girl will get you hurt. i'm just saying. so, he asks me to take a walk with him he wants to ask me something. when we get outside he asks me if i was seeing anyone. i tell him, "i'm entertaining the idea of someone." i didn't know what to say. i didn't want to have the ' i'm not really dating right now, i work with you i don't think it's a good idea' conversation. he takes this to mean that i'm seeing someone and we end it at that.
now everytime we see each other in the halls he waves to me, but never looks me in the eye. WTF is that about? i can't not like someone? damn.
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