No. Not like that.
See, I’m a cool chick. And being as cool a chick as I am, one that assumes guys aren’t hitting on me and expecting nothing from them in that respect a majority of the time, I think guys realize that and therefore have no problem talking to me. I am not “a threat”. However, it seems like almost all the guys who end up talking to me have girlfriends. And while that’s fine (I don’t have as many guy friends as I used to), it can be frustrating when they’re good-looking and we get along extremely well.
But there isn’t much I can do about it. I mean, what can I do? Stop being as awesome as I am? I think not.
The “Guys Happily in Relationships” category is by far the most frustrating of the clusters of men that immediately like me. These categories are not mutually exclusive and are in no particular order:
Guys Happily in Relationships
Married? Deeply in love with your girlfriend? Never going to be single again? Then you love me. You find my awesomeness attractive and dig the fact that your girlfriend doesn’t have to worry about me trying to stick my hand down your pants or something equally scandalous.
Gay Men
I love the gays and the gays love me. I’m about 6’0, have a big rack and rock an afro every now and again. ‘Nuff said.
Guys from the East Coast
Guys from Boston especially. This also includes guys from Chicago. Yes, I know Illinois isn’t the East Coast but until I meet more guys from the Midwest, they don’t get their own category. And I only know a handful of guys from the South so no category for them yet either.
Irish Guys
I’m talking guys actually from Ireland, though the Irish-American contingent has made a strong showing as well. My great-grandmother is Irish so I figure it’s genetics.
Manwhores
I can’t exactly explain this one. Perhaps it’s because I’m a bit of a flirt? Or because I’m a little touchy-feely (hugs make the world go round!)? I do find manwhores amusing regardless so no harm, no foul.
Manwhores are a bit frustrating as well because, as cute and charming as they are, I’m a little weary of where they may have been. And by "a little" I mean a lot.
I'm also noticing another category "Men from Eastern Block Countries" - Russia, The Ukraine, etc. - is quickly picking up speed. The reason for this is also a mystery.
All I hope is that I don't continue a disconcerting pattern in my recent life and discover that all the men I end up having a crush on fit into the "I Figure Out I Like You, Then I Find Out You Just Got A Girlfriend Or Disappear Altogether" category.
4 comments:
You should add to the category "girls who act like guys and also happen to have been a gay guy in a past life."
I figured that category was a given....
isn't the manwhore category also a given? i mean, by definition they pretty much just hit on everyone.
i would also like to point out that when adding all of these categories together, you kinda get that MOST men like you. high five.
You're right, manwhores do hit on everyone but it's just, I don't know...different when they talk to me. See, of course when a manwhore talks to any girl, he's hitting on them. But I get this vibe of...fondness from them? It's hard to explain but Mo's seen it.
High five indeed. Except, even though "most men like [me]", they're not necessarily hitting on me. They just kind of take a liking to me. Which, sadly, there is a difference between.
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