Over the last few days, we revealed the top two most flattering shirt options for men, and today it's time to reveal the third most flattering top. BUT! Before I do, let's have a little romp down No-No Land, shall we?
Two days ago I showed some delicious examples of good tee-shirts. Now it's time for some examples that are... shall we say... hard to stomach.
Bad Tee Example One:
Why is this so bad, some of you may be thinking. Well, this is a prime example of how even good guys with decent style-sense can still make mistakes. Note how the shirt hangs off his well-built chest as well as the weird pocket. Hmmm. I mean, I'm all for comfort, but you can look clean and put together and be comfortable at the same time. This shirt SHOULD have been relegated to sleeping in or better yet, used to wash the car...Bad Tee Example Two:
Wow. Okay. Ummm... I kind of have a BEEF with most graphic tees. I accept the "artistic" ones with a tasteful graphic or even the modern concert tees that are becoming more and more artistic in their own right. But if you're one of those guys who has a tee that says "insert beer here" or something like that, you're just digging you're own grave, dude. Cuz there's a difference between being funny and witty, and your clothes being funny and witty FOR you. And most of the time, these shirts (and you know which I speak of) are really not funny at all. No they're not. They're just lame... and sad. We may laugh at some off the rack, but the concept of wearing one... do you really want to be remembered as the dork who wore the "2 more beers till girl on girl action" to a party? And you wonder why all the girls are on the other side of the room...Bad Tee Example Three:
I have no words. And if you need words, than you probably are one of the clueless 2% of the population who still owns (and wears) tie-dye.Moving on, without further ado!
Flattering shirt option #3: The rib turtleneck
Okay, Okay, GIVEN, this is not really a shirt but a sweater style, but really, give me some allowances here. This may be just my opinion, but damn. There's something just... sexy ski lodge owner-cum-military spy-cum-ivy league new england hottie-cum European country stud about it. (I can think of SO MANY MORE turtleneck fantasies, but anyway -)
Here's some good rules I discovered through trial and error:
1) the broader or bigger you are, the wider the rib should be
2) the sweater should be not that tight, nor not that loose that it looks boxy or "swims" on you. It should sort of... "cling-skim" on the body (see photo example below.)
3) the sweater should hit from the upper to mid-hip length. Nothing higher or lower.
4) Not everyone can wear a rib turtleneck, as opposed to a button down shirt or t-shirt, and this is why it is ranked at #3. I find that turtleneck sweaters look great on guys with short or spikey hair to shaved heads. (Meow.) If your hair is longer, (going past chin-length) I think the look is still fine, but for some reason, guys with really long hair look ... eh in a rib turtleneck. I dunno why, but maybe it's just me. (Or maybe it's just because I hate long hair on guys.) Also, if you're VERY heavy or have a large stomach... find a button down shirt and focus on layering for warmth.
2) the sweater should be not that tight, nor not that loose that it looks boxy or "swims" on you. It should sort of... "cling-skim" on the body (see photo example below.)
3) the sweater should hit from the upper to mid-hip length. Nothing higher or lower.
4) Not everyone can wear a rib turtleneck, as opposed to a button down shirt or t-shirt, and this is why it is ranked at #3. I find that turtleneck sweaters look great on guys with short or spikey hair to shaved heads. (Meow.) If your hair is longer, (going past chin-length) I think the look is still fine, but for some reason, guys with really long hair look ... eh in a rib turtleneck. I dunno why, but maybe it's just me. (Or maybe it's just because I hate long hair on guys.) Also, if you're VERY heavy or have a large stomach... find a button down shirt and focus on layering for warmth.
5) Acceptable rib turtleneck colors: Black. Charcoal grey. To a lesser extent, Heather (light) grey. Very dark brown or navy can work too, but be very careful - these two colors only look good on certain skin/hair types.
Good Examples:
Yeah.
Yeah, too.
(no words. This time, in a good way.) But wait! you say. What if I have a short neck and turtleneck collars make me look squat? Here's a good solution:
Note the shorter collar (no turndown) and the wide rib, as well as the charcoal grey color. This is a great option, especially if you're on the heavier side. YES (sigh) it's a mock turtleneck, and 99% of the time I HATE mock turtlenecks. But this is among the gems.You wanna see some bad mock turtlenecks? Wait until my next (and final) posting for this series.
Ta-ta for now!
Coming soon: Honorable mentions
1 comment:
There's nothing like a nice upperbody and a clingy shirt...there's really nothing wrong with it. It's like peanut butter and choclate - it's just good.
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