Men and Shirts, The Final Chapter

I hope all of you have enjoyed our wonderful foray into the world of effortless male shirt dressing. I'll be moving on to our honorable mentions, but before I do, let me remind you of our 3rd most flattering top for men, the rib turtleneck, and leave you with examples of BAD turtleneck choices:


Bad Turtleneck #1:

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Why, pray tell, did you think it was acceptable for the dresser on this photo shoot to stick you with not only a PLUM PURPLE turtleneck, but a thin, almost threadbare one at that?


Bad turtleneck #2:

Is this part of a required company softball team uniform? I dunno... I'm just... I'm sorry.


Bad turtleneck #3:


Dad? A short-sleeved MOCK turtleneck? Dad, NO!



Bad turtleneck #4:

"Oh Lars, I love you, I do... but we cannot be together. It was never meant to be. Your khaki high-waisted pants... your blue puffy mock turtleneck... with dog paw branding on the collar... it compels me... to run... run away... so far away."



And now, to close out the series, I give you my picks for Flattering Shirt Options: Honorable Mentions. These shirts are good ones in their own right, with a number of reasons why they can be flattering, however, there are also reasons why these shirts did not make it onto the top 3.


Honorable Mention Shirt #1: The short-sleeve button down:
As a cousin to the #1 flattering shirt, the long-sleeve button down, this top has so many things going well for it: It's figure-forgiving, a great casual option, and so easy to wear and coordinate with. HOWEVER, I feel that this shirt gives men an excuse to not try and that's why this shirt is relegated to the honorable mention category.

To specify, I think the majority of men out there exploit this option to the extreme, meaning that they have entire RACKS of short-sleeved shirts without a break in the monotony. Because they're so easy - they can be worn in any situation with the exception of business or formal, it gives men an excuse to not mix things up a bit in their repetoire. Although quite honestly in my opinion, a short-sleeved button down shirt should only be worn on the most casual of occasions.

Then there's the kissing cousin, the guayabera. The guayabera is latin american/carribbean style short-sleeved button down shirt, more specifically adopted by Cuba as the iconic male dress staple of the country. (In the Philippines, we have the barong tagalog which is actually wedding or special event attire.)

Guayabera-style shirts all over the place, either reflecting the traditional pattern of 2-4 pockets and alforzas (pleats) in the front, to "modern" interpretations involving things like flames or 8-balls or bowling pins replacing the alforzas. The modern styles range from pretty acceptable (good to wear during the summer and to bbqs) to downright tacky, if you ask me.

Some examples of good short-sleeved, button down shirts:





Thank you, Channing.






Thank you, headless man.






And thank you, good guayabera-wearing headless man.




Some BAD short-sleeved button downs:


A Hawaiian shirt worn ON THE JOB... I'm hoping this pic is out of context and that it was Tiki Day or something at the H&R Block.


Horizontal stripe patterned button-down shirt AND shell necklace. Just...


ok, moving on.


Honorable Mention Shirt #2: The tank top, aka wife beater
And you know, I even hesitate a bit to add this as an honorable mention. The tank top offers a guy a very delicate balance. It can look really hot on the right man in the right situation, but boy... can go so very wrong so very quickly.

Here are my rules for wearing tanks:
1) Tanks must be fitted
2) Tanks must be clean (it's sad that I even have to post this as a rule)
3) Tanks should really only be worn as an undershirt, but ...
4) They can be worn as an outershirt only under the following circumstances: when it's really hot; when you're at the beach; when you're working out; if you're working on a car or motorcycle in a stuffy hot garage.

Muscle tees are in the tank top category, and hence, must adhere to the above rules as well.



Some really good examples of tank tops worn right:




Special thanks to Nikkia for convincing her boyfriend to pose for this shoot.




Oh Ryan, that muscle shirt is doing WONDERS. Keep up with the overhead presses, darling.





Excuse me, Johnny, but before we begin, can you put out your ciga...
oooh, tattoos...






And now for the bad:

Mesh! What? NO!!!!!




Grandpa!? Beer! NO!!!!




Oh god help me, nooooooooooooooNOOOOOOOO!!!

Time for a palate-cleanser, QUICK! I don't wanna sign off on this blog like this!












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(Sigh...) Thank you, Raoul. Formally Signing off.


Speaking of which, what a good way to segue into Chapter Two of the Proper Male Dressing series. I think that Nikkia had some opinions about trousers?